Curb your hormones, ladies. I know this shot of my old buddy, Felder Rushing, is bound to give you the tingles. Felder is probably the South’s best-known gardening personality, thanks to his offbeat viewpoint, irreverent sense of humor, wealth of knowledge, and shameless self-promotion. Check out his website at www.felderrushing.net. He and I co-wrote Passalong Plants (University of North Carolina Press, 1994), an award-winning book whose mind-boggling sales allowed us to choose between sending our respective kids to college or traveling extensively to exotic faraway lands. After carefully considering the matter for what seemed like minutes, we packed our bags and hit the road. College is overrated.
In case you’re wondering what Felder is doing, he’s training for the newest Olympic event — the Pot Shot. The Pot Shot is replacing Synchronized Swimming, which everyone agreed was not only pointless, but also less dramatic than Synchronized Sewing. Felder will attempt to set a new world record by hurling this cordyline plant farther than anyone has in history. Since no one has ever tossed one before, his victory seems assured. Notice his ripped abs, his flawless technique. Eat your heart out, Peyton Manning.
This leads me to the obvious question, esteemed reader — If you could toss one plant so far as to erase it from existence along with all others of its species, what plant would you choose? Golden euonymus? Chinese privet? Dandelion? Kudzu? Poodle juniper? Redtip? Bamboo? Mimosa?
Write back and tell me what plant you’d like to kill for all time. Don’t be bashful — it’ll make you feel better.