Are you an ethically challenged golfer? You know the kind I mean — the person who plays winter rules year-round, who doesn’t take penalty strokes for losing the ball because losing it is penalty enough, and who proclaims that every putt under 30 feet is a gimme? Actually, this sounds a lot like me, which is why I know you know will love getting a Big Daddy Driver.
Picture this. It’s the first hole. You tee up and begin the round as you always do — driving the ball deep into the rough. Ordinarily, this would call for circumventing the rules by hitting another ball without assessing a penalty, but now that’s not necessary. Why? Because you have the Big Daddy Driver in your bag. It looks just like an ordinary driver, but when you flip off the top, it’s a weed whacker! After you find your ball, Big Daddy quickly dispatches the tall grass that would have made your second shot one that requires skill, and you can hit away! Watch the video at www.bigdaddydriver.com.
I think this is great, but for my game, it’s just a start. I also need a driver that’s actually a chain saw for when I drive the ball deep into the woods. And how about a club that’s really a high-powered pump, so I could empty all those stupid water hazards?
Reader Participation Opportunity!!! Write and share your ideas about how you’d like to cheat at golf. How about involving the military? Maybe we could take advantage of smart-bomb technology and develop a “smart ball” that flies directly from the face of your club into the hole from anywhere on the course!