Question of the Week — December 4, 2008
If you could receive any plant in the world for Christmas, what would it be?
Christmas cactus? (So dependable.)
‘Yuletide’ camellia? (Such a rip-off.)
Angel’s trumpet? (Such a miracle.)
Star-of-Bethlehem? (Such a pain.)
Joseph’s coat? (Very colorful.)
Weeping Mary? (Very cool.)
Santa-lina? (To hand out in L.A.)
Money plant? (To hand out in Detroit.)
Devil’s backbone? (Guess we know which way you’re headed.)

Hey – what’s wrong with Star-of-Bethlehem? I think they’re sweet. H.
P.S. Might as well give Detroit the money plant; I would rather grow and give it than to print more to give it.
Holy Thistle (Centaurea americana), Grumpy!
I need to think about the behavior of these plants before I ask for one for Christmas.
The last time I was in Rome, a Madonna Lily was chatting up a Cardinal Flower while the Bishop’s Weed was making fun of St. John’s Wort. Jack-in-the-Pulpit suggested that St. John’s Wort grow full as Aaron’s Beard.
A Joseph’s Coat was hanging around with a Lady’s Mantle. Not alone with the Bats In the Belfry, there were Lady’s Slippers beneath Angel Wings.
Is there any plant with Solomon’s Seal of approval?
Holy Moses-in-the-cradle, I’m sorry I started this Biblical theme. Well, I think the best plant for Christmas is miracle fruit (Synsepalum dulcificum), because after you eat it, it makes anything sour taste sweet. Kinda like bailing out Detroit.
A plant? No. What I want is an auxiliary, you know, like public gardens have? A corp of volunteers who come in and take care of your gardens for you?
The Lazy Gardener’s Auxiliary. That’s what I want.
Well, I wouldn’t expect anything else from someone who bills themself as The Lazy Gardener. I’m only Grumpy, but if anyone of you would like to volunteer your holiday vacation to rake leaves at my yard, do common yard chores, and straighten up my garage, I will endeavor to be nice.
Hey you with the Mohawk! What’s the matter, you never seen a leaf blower before? You’re outta here!