If This Is Global Warming, Give Me More

August 24, 2009 | By | Comments (13)

The world doesn’t know it’s August. At least, not in Alabama. We had a very pleasant dinner out on the porch last night. This morning, the temperature is 58 degrees. What is wrong here?

Fire This is August, the cruelest month of all. Eternal, infernal August, where plants and air conditioners go to die. August, where Satan and his minions spend forever in the hot tub.

And yet, this morning is crisp. When have you ever used the words “crisp, August morning” before? Maybe in Iceland. Not in Alabama.

I fear we are just now paying the price for all of those renewable, non-greenhouse gas producing vehicles people have been buying. We’ve unleashed a runaway train called global cooling. The next Ice Age is upon us.

I realize this view is not PC. According to all the experts, we’re all going to burn up as the world gets hotter. But either way, the important point to keep in mind is that we’re all doomed. I’m reminded of a poem called “Fire and Ice” by Robert Frost.


Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I’ve tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.


Birmingham, Alabama. August 2019. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Sweater and hot chocolate, anyone?



  1. Dave

    I’ll take this August over the last several Augusts we’ve had. It’s been great here in TN!

    August 28, 2009 at 9:25 am
  2. Jean

    You are in trouble now! Everyone knows Alabama is God’s Country!

    August 28, 2009 at 5:55 am
  3. Grumpy Gardener aka His Excellency

    So Jean, you’re saying that Alabama is hell? I guess that would make the Crimson Tide a legion of demons — led, of course, by the evil one himself, Nick Satan.

    August 27, 2009 at 5:17 pm
  4. Jean

    I think for a brief few days..hell froze over! Thats the only explanation I can come up with.

    August 27, 2009 at 7:19 am
  5. Helen Yoest @ Gardening With Confidence

    In Raleigh, this has been the best of summers. Lower temperatures, plenty of rain and low humidity. For the first time in years, this summer I have seen consistent blue skies.
    No late freezes. No 100+ days in June. Rarely in the 90s. Blue skies which equals low humidity. And rain.
    Some summer came in August, but hey it’s August. With such a cold winter, I figured we were doomed for a miserable summer. A pleasant surprise.
    I feel Austin’s pain. It has been a miserable summer for them.
    In the words of Edwin Way Teale: “You can prove almost anything with the evidence of a small enough segment of time. How often, in any search for truth, the answer of a minute is positive, the answer of the hour qualified, the answers of the year contradictory!” H.

    August 26, 2009 at 7:53 pm
  6. Jeff

    I don’t have it, but a H. La Vista exists. It is a Fortunei Hyacinthina sport.

    August 25, 2009 at 10:30 pm
  7. Grumpy Gardener aka His Excellency

    How about a hosta named ‘La Vista’?

    August 25, 2009 at 12:46 pm
  8. Jeff

    Hey, I have a hosta called Robert Frost and one called Fire and Ice. Wierd, huh?

    August 25, 2009 at 10:07 am
  9. Stephy, Lookout Mountain, GA

    Great article…love these temps! Never fear…the South will rise again!!!

    August 25, 2009 at 9:04 am
  10. Jim Long

    If you want to see what the chilly weather has done to the corn crop in Missouri, check the photos here: http://jimlongsgarden.blogspot.com/2009/08/corn-from-outer-space.html

    August 25, 2009 at 12:35 am
  11. Cameron (Defining Your Home Garden)

    Just spent the last four days in Washington, DC/Alexandria, VA. On Friday and Saturday up there… it was the most HUMID weather that I’ve ever had the displeasure of experiencing in my life. It was just crazy. I thought “going north” would be cooler in August! Wrong. Should have stayed home in NC. But, really… we had a great time in spite of the weather.

    August 24, 2009 at 7:50 pm
  12. Grumpy Gardener aka His Excellency

    Texas is supposed to be hotter ‘n’ hell. Thanks for keeping the inferno over there.

    August 24, 2009 at 1:54 pm
  13. Pam/Digging

    We’re burning our way to a record-breaking hot summer in Austin. I’ll take your chilly August morning in a heartbeat.

    August 24, 2009 at 11:00 am

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