Fire in the Hole! The Final Solution for Voles and Moles!

September 17, 2009 | By | Comments (9)

You hate voles. You hate moles. You hate gophers too. And with good reason. They chew up your plants and burrow through your lawn. And there isn’t much you can do to stop them. Until now. Play this video and you’ll understand why that instead of getting mad, it’s better to get even.

 

 

Did you notice the gleam of joy in Mr. Meyer’s eyes as he talked of blowing these little critters into the Great Beyond? Admit it — many of you feel just like him. Especially if you grow hostas, tulips, vegetables, perennials, and other plants that these stinking critters routinely gulp down without the slightest remorse.

 

Now the Grump admits this is an extreme solution and he is not recommending it to anyone. So don’t blame me if you accidentally blow up your gas lines and your house. Or set fire to the woods or cause a 4.6 earthquake. Or if someone sneaks a video of you blasting away to Homeland Security and the Feds pay you a call. You have to decide just how much you loathe these varmints and to what lengths you’d go to in defense of your darling plants.

 

Mr. Meyer, you missed your calling. You should have starred in “Apocalypse Now.” I can just see you surveying the land and uttering those immortal words: “I love the smell of propane in the morning.”

COMMENTS

  1. pc

    Aha! I think in this dialog I may have surmised the reason my former extremely large hostas are now miniscule compared to previous years! I will attend to the problem, and dock the cat’s pay!

    September 19, 2009 at 12:24 pm
  2. Jeff

    Actually hostas won’t die, they just will be stunted pretty badly, but will recover. Not sure about other plants.

    September 18, 2009 at 5:49 pm
  3. Grumpy Gardener aka His Excellency

    Frankly, if the critters didn’t come back, any owner of a Rodenator would be disappointed. Blowing them up is so much fun! Besides, voles don’t eat grubs. They eat plants. So I guess we should all do what Jeff does. Just let the plants die.

    September 18, 2009 at 10:56 am
  4. jfaye

    If you don’t address their food source, *grubs*, they’ll keep coming back, no matter what!

    September 18, 2009 at 10:24 am
  5. Jeff

    I had a problem with voles this year, but at $2,000 – $3,000.00, I just replace my plants.

    September 18, 2009 at 8:48 am
  6. Grumpy Gardener aka His Excellency

    I don’t think a cat is qualified to operate a Rodenator.

    September 18, 2009 at 7:53 am
  7. pc

    Get a cat! They work great!

    September 17, 2009 at 5:11 pm
  8. Grumpy Gardener aka His Excellency

    No guts, no glory.

    September 17, 2009 at 2:34 pm
  9. Jean

    Dialing the phone now!!
    Oh wait…I can just see my entire house blowing up from the tunnels that are probably all under my house. My yard would look like a war zone!

    September 17, 2009 at 9:39 am

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