Yes, it does, actually. Only you won’t hear it, because you’ll be dead too.
This is why, if you enjoy life and wish to continue yours, you should never ignore a dead shade tree on your property.
Of course, it may not hit you. It may hit your car, your house, your cat, or worst of all, your satellite dish. And then you’ll wish it had hit you, because without 450 channels of 24-hour music videos and home shopping shows, life is not worth living.
Please Don’t Crush Dear Old Mom
My 87-year-old mother recently had to deal with a dangerous old tree that was leaning badly. Upon closer inspection, we discovered that the tree trunk was hollow inside. This is like looking inside a 50-story skyscraper and discovering someone stole all the steel. The question is not if it will fall, but when.
Taking down a big tree is usually expensive, but sometimes you catch a break. If the tree is on a city right-of-way, often the city will remove it for free. In my mother’s case, her tree was hanging over the neighborhood’s power lines. If it fell, it would have taken out power for the whole street. So we called the power company and had them come out and look. The next day, they sent out a crew and cut down the tree, and didn’t charge dear old Mom a dime.
But suppose you have to hire a tree company to cut it down. Price is not your only consideration. You want to make sure these guys don’t accidentally drop the tree on your house and if they do, they’re insured to cover repairs. So before you agree to the work, ask the following questions:
1. Are you licensed?
2. Are you insured?
3. Do you belong to a professional organization, such as the International Society of Arboriculture, the National Arborist Association, or the American Society of Consulting Arborists?
4. After you cut down the tree, will you haul it away?
5. Do you play air guitar during Jimmy Page’s classic solo in “Stairway to Heaven?” (I always do.)
Don’t pay anything until the work is done to your satisfaction.