Faithful reader, is your life emptier than one of Russell Crowe’s whiskey bottles? Do your children disturb you by continuing to treat you with a modicum of respect? Is your house filled with appliances you use only once, like bread makers, quiche makers, hot dog cookers, and at least 40 different kinds of vegetable slicers? Then do I have the product for you! Meet PlantCam.
PlantCam is a digital time-lapse camera that takes photos of your plants! It’s weatherproof, so you can use it outside or inside. It has no wiring and needs no set-up. You program it to snap photos at intervals you select and you can compress a day, week, or even a month into a 30-second video. Watch your lily or poppy miraculously open its flowers before your eyes. See daffodils turn their blooms to follow the sun.Then download the video to your computer, turn off “South Park” on your big-screen TV, and regale your teenagers with home movies of your flowers! It’s at this point they will say, “You’re the lamest parent ever.”
Grumpy suggests alternate, much more practical (and fun) uses for PlantCam. Set it up to spy on your neighbors. Has the woman next door been entertaining guests while her husband is away working in Des Moines? Let PlantCam capture the action! Do you wonder why tattooed low-lifes keep hauling potting soil and grow lights into your neighbor’s basement after dark? PlantCam can record it all!
PlantCam sells for just $79.95. It’s the perfect gift for people who don’t have a life, who want a life, or who just think their neighbors should be watched. Buy PlantCam today!
Hydrangea Time Is Almost Here!
Hydrangeas are budding up in the South and it won’t be long before we’re going ga-ga over their amazing flowers. To learn more about how to grow these favorite plants straight from the oversized brain of Grumpy himself, just click here.