Bore Your Kids With PlantCam

April 30, 2010 | By | Comments (9)

Faithful reader, is your life emptier than one of Russell Crowe’s whiskey bottles? Do your children disturb you by continuing to treat you with a modicum of respect? Is your house filled with appliances you use only once, like bread makers, quiche makers, hot dog cookers, and at least 40 different kinds of vegetable slicers? Then do I have the product for you! Meet PlantCam.


PlantCam is a digital time-lapse camera that takes photos of your plants! It’s weatherproof, so you can use it outside or inside. It has no wiring and needs no set-up. You program it to snap photos at intervals you select and you can compress a day, week, or even a month into a 30-second video. Watch your lily or poppy miraculously open its flowers before your eyes. See daffodils turn their blooms to follow the sun.Then download the video to your computer, turn off  “South Park” on your big-screen TV, and regale your teenagers with home movies of your flowers! It’s at this point they will say, “You’re the lamest parent ever.”

Grumpy suggests alternate, much more practical (and fun) uses for PlantCam. Set it up to spy on your neighbors. Has the woman next door been entertaining guests while her husband is away working in Des Moines? Let PlantCam capture the action! Do you wonder why tattooed low-lifes keep hauling potting soil and grow lights into your neighbor’s basement after dark? PlantCam can record it all!

PlantCam sells for just $79.95. It’s the perfect gift for people who don’t have a life, who want a life, or who just think their neighbors should be watched. Buy PlantCam today!



Hydrangea Time Is Almost Here!




Hydrangeas are budding up in the South and it won’t be long before we’re going ga-ga over their amazing flowers. To learn more about how to grow these favorite plants straight from the oversized brain of Grumpy himself, just click here.


  1. Emily


    May 5, 2010 at 2:02 pm
  2. Lynne

    Yes! I want a Plant Cam – now I can spy on my flowers and find out what’s happening out there. Sunday afternoon I had 3 lovely orange tulips on my deck. Monday morning, only 2!
    Was it the squirrels, raccoons,or the neighbours?
    I don’t think the deer can climb stairs yet, but you never know.

    May 4, 2010 at 6:50 pm
  3. Grumpy Gardener (His Grace)

    It’s not too late provided you remember to water. Newly planted hydrangeas need lots. So you have to use a hose, not the lawn sprinklers, and soak the roots a couple of times a week. Before you plant, work into the soil as much organic matter as possible — peat moss, compost, composted manure, etc. After planting, add a layer of mulch over the top.

    May 3, 2010 at 4:55 pm
  4. Emily

    I have been planning on planting several hydrangeas in our back yard this spring, but we’ve been gone every weekend for the past several weeks and haven’t had time to prep the bed, etc. Is it too late to plant? I live in zone 9. Also, do you have any tips on planting, etc? I’m a newbie to gardening.

    May 3, 2010 at 10:19 am
  5. Grumpy Gardener (His Grace)

    PlantCam would. Don’t know if it has a flash, though.

    May 3, 2010 at 7:29 am
  6. Elizabeth

    Would the plant cam find out who is eating my peas down to bare nubbins? Does it have a flash? I want one too.

    May 3, 2010 at 12:12 am
  7. Rhonda

    PlantCam?!? Oooh, I want one and I’m already a totally lame parent. And now that you mention it, I do wonder what the guy next door is doing with all those bags of concrete he keeps schlepping into the garage. Weird.

    May 2, 2010 at 5:54 pm
  8. Grumpy Gardener (His Grace)

    There’s a lot of conflicting evidence on this. In general, most hydrangeas are susceptible. However, ‘Annabelle’ and climbing hydrangea seem to be resistant. Try Googling “deer-resistant plants” to find more plants that deer won’t eat. You can also spray plants with a deer-repellent, like “Liquid Fence”:

    May 2, 2010 at 12:02 pm
  9. Roxane

    I am going to plant hydrangeas this spring but someone told me they attract deer. I am already having problems with them eating my hosta leaves and other things. Do they like hydrangea? Any deer solutions?

    May 1, 2010 at 2:05 pm

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