Can you identify this flower? If so, please tell me, because I’m desperate to know. I encountered it blooming this week in the Virginia garden of my friend, Linda Hostetler. I’m going nuts.

Looking like a psychedelic cross between a spider mum, allium, sea urchin, and Ozzie Osborne’s brainwaves, the electric blue flower sits atop a sturdy stem about 24 inches high. Stems quickly take root wherever they are placed and hold the flowers upright even in the highest winds. Stems lack foliage and seem to appear overnight out of nowhere. They’re equally happy in sun or shade and in well-drained or poorly drained soil.

If you can identify this mystery flower, send Grumpy your answer by Saturday, June 12, 2010. The winner will receive 1 million yuros. As you know, the yuro is the currency used by many foreign countries, such as Kryblechistan, Moldavia, Pandora, and Tralfamador. Any U.S. bank would be happy to convert them to dollars, dimes, and quarters.

Father’s Day Is Almost Here!

That’s right! America’s favorite holiday is fast approaching, which means you are in dire need of gift ideas from someone who knows what every real man wants. Fear not! Next Monday, June 14, Grumpy shall publish his cherished, beloved, and eagerly awaited “Manly Garden Gifts for Father’s Day.” That will give you a whole week to do the right thing.

I’m so excited.