No one deserves a vacation more than the Grump. For it has been pointed out that if I work too hard for too long (which is my custom), I grow progressively less grumpy and more positive, thereby losing my edge. Therefore, I must report to you that as of today, I will be taking two weeks off to investigate the tropical paradise of Belize.

Oh crap. Two weeks of fun and relaxation. This means that upon my return, I will be as mean and ornery and spiteful as usual, ready to direct my venom and disdain at all gardeners around me.

Among the fascinating activities I have planned:

* A stay at the Belizian Embassy in Belmopan, where I shall be feted as visiting royalty. If you have a family member imprisoned in Belize, let me know and I’ll have him/her sprung. (Just kidding. Don’t have time for that. Instead, watch “Locked Up Abroad” on Nat Geo TV. If you see your family member on the show, tell me so I can watch too.)

* A visit with a Belizian herpetologist. No, this is NOT a physician who treats herpes. A herpetologist is an expert on snakes. I will be learning about the most poisonous snakes in Belize, those with venom so potent that one bite either kills you or causes extremities to rot off. What fun! I wish Steve Irwin was here to share the good times with me. Here’s a video of Steve showing how friendly snakes are.

* A pilgrimage to the One Barrel Rum distillery, makers of Belize’s finest rum. And least, that’s what they say. I, of course, will reserve judgment until I have thoroughly and repeatedly tested their product, so that I may accurately report back to YOU.  
You may still post question and comments here while I am away. Please understand that because of spotty internet service, snake bite treatments, and continued rum tasting, I may not answer right away.

Semper fi,

Grumpy

“One Man, One Grump. A Hero for Our Times.”