Crepe Murder Most Foul — the Best of the Worst Winner #2

March 8, 2012 | By | Comments (5)

Welcome back, my friends, to the crime that never ends. I’m so glad you attend. Come inside, come inside.

Our second winner in Grumpy’s 2nd Annual Crepe Murder Contest goes to Atlanta landscape designer Sarah Price for this stunning example of horticultural butchery. Unlike Jeff Minnich from yesterday, who photographed his winner in a distant city to prevent reprisals, Sarah didn’t hesitate to risk life, limb, and the probably egging of her house to photograph these crepe myrtles in Atlanta’s Virginia Highlands neighborhood. Sarah, all of Grumpiana is now standing on its feet saluting your bravery. Well done!

Crepe murder with a touch of patriotism
As Sarah points out, what’s so neat here is that the homeowners decapitated this pair of crepe myrtles at two different heights, proving they had a purpose in mind, although we can’t imagine what that would be. “I’m very embarrassed on their behalf,” she says. But perhaps we shouldn’t judge them too harshly. They are, after all, flying Old Glory, so maybe they mistook their crepe myrtles for British soldiers. Happens all the time.

What’s Crepe Murder?

For the uninitiated, crepe murder refers to the odious practice of using chainsaws and loppers to reduce beautiful crepe myrtles to hideous stumps every spring. Not only does this ruin their sculptural form, but it also prevents them from developing that wonderfully mottled, smooth, flaky bark so welcome in the winter landscape. Moreover, the long, whiplike branches that grow from the stumps are too weak to hold up the flowers.

Prizes! Prizes!

Like every winner, Sarah will receive a lavender ‘Early Bird’ crepe myrtle from our Southern Living Plant Collection. This crepe myrtle grows only 8 feet tall and never needs pruning. Come back tomorrow to see our next winner. I promise it’ll be even uglier.

 

COMMENTS

  1. Marge

    Hi Grumps. Not trying to be a jerk here, and maybe you’ve addressed this before… But isn’t it spelled crape myrtle rather than crepe myrtle?

    March 8, 2012 at 8:42 am
  2. Jim Long

    I think a case could be made for a murder mystery built around these crepe murders. Sort of a horticultural Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil. Grumpy, you surely have time to write such a novel.

    March 9, 2012 at 10:56 am
  3. Grumpy Gardener (His Magnificence)

    Marge,
    Some people spell it “crape.” Southern Living spells it “crepe.” Either one is OK.
    Jim,
    Yeah, I’ll have plenty of time when they finally toss my wrinkled behind out of here.

    March 9, 2012 at 12:27 pm
  4. Marge

    From the link to the ‘Early Bird’ in your post, it looks like Southern Living spells it crapemyrtle (one word).
    ‘Early Bird’ does look like a pretty one.

    March 9, 2012 at 3:27 pm
  5. Grumpy Gardener (His Magnificence)

    Marge,
    I know this isn’t going to make sense, but the grower for our collection insists on spelling it “crape.”

    March 12, 2012 at 11:56 am