Is their butchery in the air? Why, yes, there is! I promised you yesterday that today’s example of crepe murder would be even uglier. And you know Grumpy never fails to deliver. Take a look at this stomach-churning example sent in by our third winner in Grumpy’s 2nd Annual Crepe Myrtle Contest — Judah Cordovano of Gainesville, Florida.
Judah certainly wasn’t lacking confidence when he entered the contest. “Please find attached a crepe murder extravaganza,” his email reads. “What makes my entry prize-winning is not simply the severity of the offenses, but their alarming number.” (He sent more pictures from the same place, but I picked out the gross de la gross.) The irony of its placement isn’t lost on either Judah or Grumpy. Why would a fast-food restaurant seeking to attract hungry patrons commit an atrocity guaranteed to make you throw up?
Grumpians, horrors like this don’t happen overnight. They take years of painstaking, repetitive ignorance. Doing exactly the wrong thing rain or shine, again, again, and again. Bravo!
What’s Crepe Murder?
For the uninitiated, crepe murder refers to the odious practice of using chainsaws and loppers to reduce beautiful crepe myrtles to hideous stumps every spring. Not only does this ruin their sculptural form, but it also prevents them from developing that wonderfully mottled, smooth, flaky bark so welcome in the winter landscape. Moreover, the long, whiplike branches that grow from the stumps are too weak to hold up the flowers.
Like every winner, Judah will receive a lavender ‘Early Bird’ crepe myrtle from our Southern Living Plant Collection. This crepe myrtle grows only 8 feet tall and never needs pruning. Come back tomorrow to see our next winner. I promise it’ll stump you.