Last-Second Garden Gifts from Grumpy!

December 20, 2012 | By | Comments (2)

The 1-lb. bag contains 13 different varieties of heirloom vegetables. Yum! Photo: D. Landreth.

We’re coming down to the wire. The Mayan calendar says the world will end tomorrow, December 21. But if it doesn’t and you’re still on the hook for a unique gardening gift for Christmas, you’ve come to the right place. Here are some items sure to make even the most discerning gardener blubber like a baby.

Item #1. Heirloom Vegetable Seed Collection from D. Landreth, America’s oldest seed company (above). D. Landreth has been selling seeds since 1784 and may well have sold seed to our Founding Fathers. The seed bag comes filled with 13 packets of heirloom vegetables and a small book that gives you the history and description of each vegetable. Veggies include: ‘Christmas Pole’ lima beans, broccoli ‘Calabrese,’ ‘Tonda Di Parigi’ carrot, ‘Lemon’ cucumber, ‘Louisiana Long Green’ eggplant, ‘Mervielle Des Quatre Saisons’ lettuce, ‘Ananas D’Amerique A Chair Verte’ melon, ‘Chervena Chujski’ peppers, ‘Rouge Vif d’Etampes’ pumpkin, ‘Viroflay’ spinach, ‘Cocozella Di Napoli’ squash, and ‘Cherokee Purple’ tomato. A beautiful illustration decorates each packet. Cost: $24.95.


Grumpy would love this Thomas Jefferson rain gauge! Anyone listening?                                Photo: D. Landreth.

Item #2. The Thomas Jefferson Rain Gauge from D. Landreth (above). How can you grow heirloom vegetables without this beautiful reproduction of T. J.’s own ingenious instrument for measuring rainfall? As the float in the glass cylinder rises with the water, it moves the pointer to the correct measurement. Guys like Grumpy love this stuff! Cost: $175. Sure to impress.


Holy guacamole, Batman! Cold-hardy avocado trees!         Photo: Chestnut Hill Tree Farm

Item #3. Cold-Hardy Avocado Tree from Chestnut Hill Tree Farm (above). Remember when you were a college student and grew an avocado tree from the seed in your dorm room, until it got so big it hid your black-light poster, so you put it outside and it froze? I do! Well, now you can grow an avocado tree from the mountains of Mexico that’s cold-hardy to the mid-teens! Just be sure to plant on the south side of your house for extra cold-protection. Chestnut Hill Tree Farm sells 8 different cold-hardy kinds. Cost: $29.95.


Shouldn’t all songbirds dine in the lap of luxury? You bet they should! Photo: Perky-Pet.

Item #4. Copper Triple-Tube Bird Feeder from Perky-Pet (above). Sick of watching cardinals and goldfinches ignore your cheapo plastic bird feeder in favor of fancier digs at your neighbor’s? Turn the tables with this high-class copper feeder from Perky-Pet that makes your guests feel superior to other birds. In addition to its stylish copper squirrel baffle, it features 3 separate feeding tubes, 12 flip-down feeding ports, and a 10-lb. seed capacity. Cost: $65.


These 5-bladed scissors make the cut.                 Photo: Cook’s Garden

Item #5. Herb Scissors from The Cook’s Garden (above). Grumpy loves cutting chives and other fresh herbs from the garden and these cool scissors from The Cook’s Garden make it quicker and easier. The tool features 5 parallel blades, so you can cut evenly and 5 times as fast. This leaves you lots of valuable free time to consider whether we do indeed live in a multi-verse. (Answer: yes.) Cost: $12.95.


Bug off, mosquitoes! Photo: Bug Patch.

Item #6. The Bug Patch (above). You can’t enjoy snipping herbs and other stuff from the garden when mosquitoes, horseflies, ticks, and chiggers are sucking your body dry! Here’s the answer for folks who don’t like DEET. You apply a Bug Patch to your body just like a yellow-tooth smoker applies a nicotine patch, only this patch releases Vitamin B-1 that is absorbed through the skin and carried by the bloodstream to every part of your body. It turns out that biting and sucking bugs hate B-1 as much as Grumpy hates peanut butter! One patch gives 36-hour protection for a person 80 lbs. or under. Bigger people need two patches. Cost: $44.99 for 72 patches.


  1. Steve Bender

    You are most welcome.

    January 4, 2013 at 12:44 pm
  2. phil1960

    Grumpy on your advise I order the Thomas Jefferson rain gauge and I love it. thanks for the recommendation it’s one of the best Christmas presents I’ve ever gotten for myself. Also I’ve booked marked “Cold-Hardy Avocado Tree from Chestnut Hill Tree Farm ” and have already added way too much to my cart. thanks for your excellent suggestions and merry Christmas to you and your family. May the New year bring you all the garden pleasures one man can handle.

    December 24, 2012 at 3:51 am

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