Crepe Murder 2013 — St. Patty’s Day Massacre

March 17, 2013 | By | Comments (2)
Crepe myrtle

Topped in the marning to you! Photo by Cara Catrett.

Fine, St. Patrick drove all the snakes out of Ireland. Now could he just drive all the pruners, loppers, and saws out of THIS country? Because it seems that once again, bored husbands fortified by gallons of green beer are celebrating the day by mutilating crepe myrtles. And the trees don’t exactly feel lucky.

But Cara Catrett does! For sending Grumpy this sickening but totally excellent example of man’s inhumanity to plants, she becomes winner #6 in Crepe Murder 2013. Her prize: a dwarf ‘Early Bird’ crepe myrtle that never needs pruning from our Southern Living Plant Collection.

Are You Covered?
Cara discovered this execrable crime committed outside an insurance company. And this brings up an important question. What if this happened at YOUR house? Would you be covered for damages and repair? Many people are shocked to discover that regular homeowner’s insurance does not cover crepe murder. Ask your agent to review your policy today!

Winner #7 This Thursday!
Check out the Grumpy Gardener this Thursday to witness further testimony to people’s stupidity as we count down the Dirty Dozen of Crepe Murder 2013. It’ll make you wail like a banshee.


  1. Steve Bender

    My first guess is that your crepes may not be getting enough sun. The more sun they get, the more flowers you get.

    March 29, 2013 at 10:08 am
  2. Esperanza

    We don’t mutilate our Crepe Myrtles, but they don’t flower as much as our neighbors’ who do. We have followed your instructions on how to prune these trees from your post in 2009. The only ones that bloom profusely without fail are the Natchez Crepes, but our pink crepes (Miami) and lavender crepes (Sioux) don’t flower as much. We also have four Acoma Crepe Myrtles that hardly flower, although they leaf out beautifully every year. They are planted on a slope so I don’t know if that has something to do with it. We only got beautiful white flowers the first year they were planted. Then after 3 years of no flowering, we have tried Super Phosphate, a 15-0-15 fertilizer, Osmocote,, and still no success. What are we doing wrong?

    March 19, 2013 at 9:11 pm

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