Crepe Murder 2013 — 80 Years of Bad Hair

March 24, 2013 | By | Comments (0)
Crepe myrtle.

This is what happens when you don’t use conditioner!                         Photo by Lynda Curtis.

Ahhh!! Springtime! The birds are chirping, the Bradford pears are blooming, squirrels are building nests in your attic, and it’s raining during spring break at the beach. What better time to murder your crepe myrtle? Don’t be the last on your street!

Lynda Curtis sent Grumpy this particularly disgusting example of crepe murder. Not only has this sad, old tree been reduced to a stump, but then when it attempts to grow branches to recover some semblance of tree-dom, some moron keeps buzzing them off around a foot tall! I don’t know what look the artist was going for, but it reminds me of a certain cartoon character who is fond of saying, “Eat my shorts.”

Bart Simpson

Bart Simpson. Illustration by Matt Groening.

Lynda thus becomes winner #8 in Grumpy’s countdown of the 12 Best of the Worst in Crepe Murder 2013! In addition to the adulation of friends and family, she will receive a dwarf ‘Early Bird’ crepe myrtle that never needs pruning from our Southern Living Plant Collection.

Can It Get Worse?
Why, yes! Yes, it can! Check back here this Thursday for winner #9. It takes ugly to a whole new level!


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