Crepe Murder 2013 — Serial Killers

March 28, 2013 | By | Comments (2)
Crepe murder

Is this a crepe myrtle or a diseased hip joint? Photo by Marianne Owens.

Have you been watching Fox’s new hit show, “The Following?” It’s about psycho Joe Carroll and his merry band of serial killers who commit unspeakable crimes because, well, it’s fun. The series is set in Richmond, Virginia. And if you think it’s all make-believe, the photo above recently taken in Richmond could change your mind.

You have to pretty evil and sick to do something like this. This isn’t a one-time crime. Somebody has been chopping back this defenseless crepe myrtle trunk to the same point for years and years. The result is a warty, disgusting, cancer-like knob on the top. Who is responsible? Maybe Joe Carroll.

The Following

Psycho Joe Carroll (James Purefoy) taunts agent Ryan Hardy (Kevin Bacon) about the series of gruesome crepe murders occurring in Richmond, VA. Photo by Fox.

Beyond the Call of Duty
For sending Grumpy the evidence of truly horrifying crepe murder at great personal risk to herself, Marianne Owens is Winner #9 in Crepe Murder 2013! She will receive a dwarf ‘Early Bird’ crepe myrtle that never needs pruning from our Southern Living Plant Collection.

Early Bird crepe myrtle

Early Bird Lavender.                 Photo by PDSI.

Grumpy has just one request, Marianne. Don’t tell Joe About it.

Winner #10 This Sunday!
Just three more winners to go! Look here for the next one this Sunday. You’ll raise your arms in protest!


  1. Steve Bender


    Don’t cut it back as far as before. Try to maintain a natural, spreading, branching shape without creating a bunch of thick, ugly stubs.

    April 1, 2013 at 10:39 am
  2. Lilylynne

    Dear Grumpy, I have a very tall crepe myrtle that I have to cut back. It has been butchered in past years. Last owner planted wrong size decades ago. Do I cut back to the ugly place (two thirds down) or above? Tree is maybe 25 feet tall.

    Thanks, Lilylynne

    March 29, 2013 at 3:37 pm

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