Crepe Murder 2013 — Lawdy, Lawdy, Lawdy!

March 31, 2013 | By | Comments (1)
Crepe murder

“No more, no more! We surrender!” Photo by William Pfeiffer.

Every year, when I rant on about crepe murder, I don’t know whether I’m sowing seeds among the stones or preaching to the choir. Look at these poor, mutilated trees with arms raised to the heavens begging for mercy. Crepe murder is not only a crime, but a sin. Can I get an “Amen!” from the congregation?

I don’t know for sure, but these crepe myrtles look like they’re growing next to an instructional hall at a college or university. This proves what Grumpy has suspected all along — that bad taste, ignorance, and cruelty are not limited to the huddled masses, but also present in the intelligentsia who fancy themselves our betters.

Sure, you guys can splice DNA, write computer code, and discover the Higgs boson. But can you prune a crepe myrtle properly? No, you cannot.

For sending Grumpy this outstanding example of man’s inhumanity to plants, William Pfeiffer is winner #10 in Crepe Murder 2013! His reward? A dwarf ‘Early Bird’ crepe myrtle that never needs pruning from our Southern Living Plant Collection. Treat it kindly, William. The Big Guy will be watching.

Early Bird crepe myrtle

‘Early Bird’ lavender crepe myrtle. Photo by PDSI.

Next Winner on Thursday!
Check back here next Thursday for the next-to-last winner in Crepe Murder 2013. If you don’t believe in alien invasion now, you will.


  1. Crystal

    This reminds me of Dorothy in the evil forest

    April 27, 2013 at 9:38 pm

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