Are These the Best Southern Local TV Commercials? You Tell Us!

September 4, 2014 | By | Comments (10)

0 Are These the Best Southern Local TV Commercials? You Tell Us!

There existed a time, not so long ago, when we couldn’t skate through television commercials with a fast-forward button. That button was saved for the FBI warnings at the beginning of VHS tapes. The world was inundated with television commercials for businesses in the local markets, and, if the list below is any indicator, the youth of today have no idea what they’re missing.

The most painful loss with the rise of DVR, Roku, and any other combination of letters that appear to be constructed by drunk teenagers but are actually commercial-skipping technologies, is the loss of the local commercial. Below are some of the South’s best.

I’ll be honest, though. Going through 17 states’ worth of commercials is no easy task. Hundreds were left on the cutting-room floor. Hundreds more never found these tired eyes. So, please, let us know in the comments below what your favorite local television commercial is. Bonus points if you’ve got a YouTube link.

Now, without further ado, our favorite commercials:

State: Oklahoma
Product: 
Oklahoma Electronics Store
Premise: Spokeswoman/manager/owner/whatever-she-is Linda Soundtrak is dying in the hospital and so delusional she’s offering great deals! But hurry, she might get better.
Takeaway: Man, the eighties were weird.

 

State: Louisiana
Product: 
Frankie and Johnny’s Furniture
Premise: Want to buy furniture but have no money, credit, or goats to barter? No problem. Just gotta see The Special Man.
Takeaway: How does one become The Special Man?

 

State: Mid-Atlantic (DMV)
Product: 
Easterns Motors
Premise: Buy a car from Eastern Motors because the receptionist sings with celebs like Carmelo Anthony, Laveranues Coles, and LaVar Arrington.
Takeaway: This is a pretty old commercial … Does that song sound extremely familiar to anyone else?

 

State: Alabama
Product: 
Cullman Liquidation
Premise: Buy a trailer. Or don’t. Whatever. Honesty is all we have in this world.
Takeaway: There are two, both quotes. “A bouncer in Birmingham hit me in the face with a crescent wrench five times, and my wife’s boyfriend broke my jaw with a fence post. So if you don’t buy a trailer from me, it ain’t gonna hurt my feelings,”  and “These are mobile homes, not mansions. They come in two pieces.”

 

State: Georgia 
Product: 
Gallery Furniture
Premise: Ask for the Wolfman. He wears silly ties.
Takeaway: It’s oddly common in the furniture store industry to have to request a wacky, crazy, or special man.

 

State: Virginia
Product: 
Daniel L. Crandall, Attorney-at-Law
Premise: Put your child in a safety seat. Get this haircut. Stop and smell the roses. SO MANY THINGS.
Takeaway: That piano. That cadence. That video editing.

 

State: Texas
Product: 
Thunderbolt Brand Motors & Transmissions
Premise: Country tune. Pretty cowgirl. A “Yee-haw!”
Takeaway: This song is stuck in my head. How is this song stuck in my head. One coworker just looked at me cockeyed for singing this. I don’t care.

 

Don’t forget to share your favorite commercials in the comments!

Southern Fried Column is a weekly column brought to you by Travis M. Andrews that focuses on the fun, the ridiculous, and the trending in these here Southern United States. Because sometimes home is a little absurd.

 

COMMENTS

  1. Ronnie A. Smith (@Sronnie426A)

    til I looked at the receipt saying $9545 , I accept that…my… cousin woz like they say actualey bringing in money in their spare time from there pretty old laptop. . there brothers friend had bean doing this less than eleven months and by now paid for the dept on there cottage and bourt a brand new Lancia . This Site

    See This Site ,.,,,,, moneykin.cᵒm

    September 7, 2014 at 4:40 pm
  2. Vilem Hajen

    my buddy’s step-mother makes $80 /hr on the computer . She has been unemployed for 9 months but last month her income was $20063 just working on the computer for a few hours. over here http://2.gp/vukiz

    September 6, 2014 at 2:43 pm
  3. Lisa Roberts

    just as Debra implied I cant believe that a stay at home mom able to earn $8205 in a few weeks on the internet . why not find out more………… http://cli.gs/kp3h57b

    September 5, 2014 at 5:15 pm
  4. Heather Grier

    Flea market Montgomery is a must!!

    September 4, 2014 at 8:39 pm
  5. Bryanna Lemanski

    Nashville news channel 5 has a Christmas commercial/greeting thing that they play every year since probably the 50s. It’s old and makes everyone get in the Christmas spirit. It’s tradition here in middle tennessee to watch it.

    September 4, 2014 at 8:09 pm
  6. Prairie des Femmes (@PrairieFemme)
    September 4, 2014 at 5:39 pm
  7. wut ^

    Melody Kitchens — YOU BEAT ME BY ONE MINUTE. I WILL NOT FORGET THIS. IT’S JUST LIKE ITS JUST LIKE ITS JUST LIKE A MINI MALL

    September 4, 2014 at 5:04 pm
  8. Melody Kitchens
    September 4, 2014 at 5:01 pm
  9. wut ^

    Need dat Flea Market Montgomery:

    September 4, 2014 at 4:59 pm
  10. Melody Kitchens

    honorary mention: flea market montgomery!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJ3oHpup-pk

    September 4, 2014 at 4:58 pm

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