Dear readers, you know that for years Grumpy has railed against the senseless and short-sighted act of raking or blowing fall leaves to the curb to be hauled off by the city to landfills. He has championed the environmentally friendly alternative of chopping them up with the lawn mower and turning them into compost to enrich your garden’s soil. Yet today, I acknowledge that I am a fraud and lack all credibility. For if you drive by my house right now, you’ll see the scene above.
I didn’t do it. But it is still my fault. You see, my wife, Judy, is a recently retired operating room nurse with a lot of energy. After she finishes mopping the floors, doing the laundry, sweeping the deck, edging the lawn, painting the front door, washing the car, and setting in motion a delicious, hot meal for when I get home later that day, she gets bored.
All the signs were there. I should have known. It was a nice, mild day. The perfect day for working in the yard after cleaning. Driving home from work, I had this ominous feeling that something dreadful would greet me when I reached our house.
There it was! OMG! Judy had used the leaf-blower to deposit leaves from our lawn in the curb! She thinks it’s no big deal.
I cannot live with this shame. But how to atone for my transgression? It was I who had left the leaf blower and extension cord in plain view in the garage. I was Judy’s enabler. I could offer to clean the toilets and empty out Ketchup’s litter box as penance, but that would just encourage Judy to repeat her offense. There is only one logical thing to do.
Every time I drive away from the house, that leaf blower’s going with me. Love the sinner, hate the sin.