Steve Bender

Steve Bender grew up in Lutherville, MD and was exiled to Alabama in 1983 for reasons that remain secret to this day. He loves fried okra and often selects dinner wine based on whether it goes well with fried okra. His mission is to make gardening uplifting, accessible, and inspirational to all. He will no doubt succeed. Follow him on Twitter: @grumpy-gardener. Also on Facebook: facebook.com/SLGrumpyGardener.

Recent Posts By Steve Bender

The Grumpy Gardener

Tropical Flowers for Temperate Gardens — Yellow Shrimp Plant

April 18, 2013 | By Steve Bender | Comments (0)

It has always been one of Grumpy’s foremost goals to introduce his readers to great flowers named for the freshest seafood. Therefore, I present to you this wonderful, nonstop bloomer that is often seen in Florida gardens, but should be seen in all — yellow shrimp plant.

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Welcome to Dad’s Toxic Waste Museum!

April 14, 2013 | By Steve Bender | Comments (3)

My Dad was an enthusiastic, conscientious, and thrifty gardener. He never threw away anything. This latter point was never illustrated any better than during my visit home last week. I walked into his workshop in the basement and opened the door to his garden pesticide cabinet. There stood a murder’s row of dangerous and mostly banned pesticides. Let’s all take […]

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These Blooming Bells Ring My Chimes! Calibrachoas

April 11, 2013 | By Steve Bender | Comments (1)

At first glance, Calibrachoa (pronounced callie-bruh-KO-a) looks like a miniature version of the petunia. That’s not so weird. The two belong to the same family. But Calibrachoa offers colors that petunias don’t — strong yellows, terra-cottas, oranges — as well as red, pink, rose, burgundy, blue, lavender, purple, and bicolors. Boatloads of single or double flowers appear from spring to […]

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Crepe Murder 2013 — Take Me To Your Leader

April 7, 2013 | By Steve Bender | Comments (7)

All good things must come to an end. So must all awe-inspiring, game-changing, milestone-making, totally transcendent things. Behold the 12th and final winner of Crepe Murder 2013!

The Grumpy Gardener

Crepe Murder 2013 — Great Clips

April 4, 2013 | By Steve Bender | Comments (0)

Look at this expertly cropped crepe myrtle. You might expect to pay $50, $100, or even $1,000 to enjoy a coiffed crepe like this one at your home. But if you act now, we’ll charge you only $7.99! Now, that’s a deal!

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Crepe Murder 2013 — Lawdy, Lawdy, Lawdy!

March 31, 2013 | By Steve Bender | Comments (1)

Every year, when I rant on about crepe murder, I don’t know whether I’m sowing seeds among the stones or preaching to the choir. Look at these poor, mutilated trees with arms raised to the heavens begging for mercy. Crepe murder is not only a crime, but a sin. Can I get an “Amen!” from the congregation?

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Crepe Murder 2013 — Serial Killers

March 28, 2013 | By Steve Bender | Comments (2)

Have you been watching Fox’s new hit show, “The Following?” It’s about psycho Joe Carroll and his merry band of serial killers who commit unspeakable crimes because, well, it’s fun. The series is set in Richmond, Virginia. And if you think it’s all make-believe, the photo above recently taken in Richmond could change your mind.

The Grumpy Gardener

Crepe Murder 2013 — 80 Years of Bad Hair

March 24, 2013 | By Steve Bender | Comments (0)

Ahhh!! Springtime! The birds are chirping, the Bradford pears are blooming, squirrels are building nests in your attic, and it’s raining during spring break at the beach. What better time to murder your crepe myrtle? Don’t be the last on your street!

The Grumpy Gardener

Crepe Murder 2013 — Stumped Again!

March 21, 2013 | By Steve Bender | Comments (3)

Grumpy isn’t sure whether this is a photo of a crepe myrtle or a hitching post. But you can tie up your horse to it anyway, because it is winner #7 in Crepe Murder 2013!

The Grumpy Gardener

Crepe Murder 2013 — St. Patty’s Day Massacre

March 17, 2013 | By Steve Bender | Comments (2)

Fine, St. Patrick drove all the snakes out of Ireland. Now could he just drive all the pruners, loppers, and saws out of THIS country? Because it seems that once again, bored husbands fortified by gallons of green beer are celebrating the day by mutilating crepe myrtles. And the trees don’t exactly feel lucky.

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