Faithful readers, Grumpy has returned from his perilous diplomatic mission to Asia safe and sound! He knows you were terribly worried about his welfare, but assures you that aside from a little Confucius Revenge, he is fine. Thanks to everyone who entered Crepe Murder 2015. Judging will commence immediately and the results will make at least 10 of you famous.
It’s that most wonderful time of the year! Football is over, bored husbands aren’t sober, and crepe myrtles are near! It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Yes, Crepe Murder is back for its fourth incredible year, all made possible by two things — ignorant men armed with loppers and pruning saws and vigilant, sneaky readers like you armed […]
You loved your poinsettia during the holidays, but (news flash!) the holidays are over. Now your plant is starting to look a little sad. One overarching question courses through your brain. What am I supposed to do with the dang thing now?
The season is upon us, so watch out. Any day now, some unemployed, middle-school graduate with a borrowed chainsaw and a mud-caked pickup is going to knock on your door and say you have a problem that needs fixing. Those big trees of yours need shortening bad. If you say yes, not only will you be fleeced of a couple of […]
The TV weather people are giddy right now, because after a boring year with hardly any hurricanes or tornadoes to terrify us with, now an Arctic blast is poised to freeze America’s hiney off. And not just in Minnesota, where thousands of folks lose their hinies every winter. In Mobile, the temp dropped to 20 degrees this morning, sufficiently frigid […]