more about: Crepe Myrtle

All good things must come to an end. So must all awe-inspiring, game-changing, milestone-making, totally transcendent things. Behold the 12th and final winner of Crepe Murder 2013!

Look at this expertly cropped crepe myrtle. You might expect to pay $50, $100, or even $1,000 to enjoy a coiffed crepe like this one at your home. But if you act now, we’ll charge you only $7.99! Now, that’s a deal! 

Every year, when I rant on about crepe murder, I don’t know whether I’m sowing seeds among the stones or preaching to the choir. Look at these poor, mutilated trees with arms raised to the heavens begging for mercy. Crepe murder is not only a crime, but a sin. Can I get an “Amen!” from the congregation?

Ahhh!! Springtime! The birds are chirping, the Bradford pears are blooming, squirrels are building nests in your attic, and it’s raining during spring break at the beach. What better time to murder your crepe myrtle? Don’t be the last on your street!

Grumpy isn’t sure whether this is a photo of a crepe myrtle or a hitching post. But you can tie up your horse to it anyway, because it is winner #7 in Crepe Murder 2013!

Fine, St. Patrick drove all the snakes out of Ireland. Now could he just drive all the pruners, loppers, and saws out of THIS country? Because it seems that once again, bored husbands fortified by gallons of green beer are celebrating the day by mutilating crepe myrtles. And the trees don’t exactly feel lucky.

Postal workers are under a lot of stress these days. People pay their bills online, no one leaves letter carriers tips in the mailbox at Christmas anymore, and Saturday delivery is about to end. So it’s not surprising that someone at a rural South Carolina post office snapped this winter — and took it out on a defenseless crepe myrtle.

I don’t know what’s the leading industry in Hinesville, Georgia, but I’m thinking it might be making walking canes for the infirm. Only in Hinesville, they don’t manufacture them at a factory. No, they send someone out in the dead of night with a good pair of loppers in search of a lone crepe myrtle. Wow, and to think that […]