more about: Crepe Myrtle

Prune Crepe Myrtle Like Your Dogwood

A reader writes asking a familiar question: “My crepe myrtle grows so huge on the top and blooms like crazy, but the bottom doesn’t seem to be keeping up with the top. It really looks top-heavy. Am I doing something wrong? What should I do?”

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Prune Out Your Dead!

Readers are besieging Grumpy with frantic questions about trees and shrubs that don’t look right. Some have branches that haven’t leafed out. Some have bare branches and are sprouting only from the base. And some show no signs of life at all. “Why is this happening and what should I do?” they ask.

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How To Fix Crepe Murder

Southerners are fixated on crepe myrtles — mainly because they butchered so many this winter and now want them fixed. Following Crepe Murder 2015, scores of pitiful emails from crepe criminals needing their consciences scrubbed flooded Grumpy’s email box. “Have I killed my crepe myrtle?” they ask. “Is there any way to fix what I did?” No, you probably haven’t […]

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Crepe Murder Or Death Wish? It’s Stupid Either Way

OK, I promised you the most idiotic example of crepe murder I’ve ever seen and here it is. This guy is standing high in the air atop the stumps of a crepe myrtle he’s already cut and finishing off the rest. With a chain saw!

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Crepe Murder 2015 — Don’t Let ‘Em Grow Up to Be Trees, Boys

Some years ago, a woman approached my wife, Judy, in our front yard and asked when we were going to prune our crepe myrtles. When Judy replied, “We’re not,” the woman gaped in astonishment. “You’re not going to cut them?” she asked. “You’re going to just let them grow wild?”

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Open Season on Crepe Myrtles

Have you ever heard someone say that a plant has to “earn” its way in the garden? Well, here’s one tree that has definitely taken that notion to heart — with the aid of a manic store owner in Wilmington, North Carolina armed with a pair of loppers. Really, what better use can there be for a crepe myrtle than […]

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Crepe Murder Winners #6 & #7 — Shooting You The Bird

Sometimes when you witness a horrific example of crepe murder, you have a hard time deciding what the perp was thinking. That certainly isn’t the case here. Grumpy knows exactly what statement he was making, only propriety prevents me from spelling it out. Let’s just say it’s nothing like, “Have a nice day.”

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Crepe Murder Winner #5 — The Circles of Death

Most neighborhoods ban front yard cemeteries, but not this one in Summerville, South Carolina! In fact, Summervillians can lay to rest loved ones right by the street for all to remember and mourn. How many more deaths will it take till they know that too many crepe myrtles have died? The answer, says Bob Dylan, is blowing in the wind. […]

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Crepe Murder Winners #3 & #4 — Funeral For A Friend

Friends, please observe a moment of silence with me as we remember six beloved friends who recently fell at the hands of a madman. We may never know what motivated this tortured individual to lash out so violently and ignorantly. We only know these poor crepe myrtles were mutilated and we mourn them.

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Crepe Murder Winner #2 — Would You Pay A Dollar For This Tree?

Oooh, the irony of our latest example of crepe murder is just too good. Here we have a most sadly abused plant growing right in front of a Dollar Tree — a store that sells everything for a buck. So the question you must ask yourself now is, “Would I pay a dollar for this tree?”

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