Over the years, we have established that Grumpy knows all — not just about the present, but the future too. Powered by several glasses of high-octane eggnog, he turns his Jaundiced Eye of Prognostication towards 2015 and issues five shocking predictions for the coming year.
more about: Fruits and Vegetables
Many of you probably think Grumpy hunts and devours live animals. Well, he used to, until his wife convinced him to eat a more healthy diet. So here is Grumpy’s new freshly planted salad garden. Not only will its leaves supply lots of Vitamins, minerals, and fiber, but unlike animals they will not struggle while being harvested.
Did you see the video of the guy in Georgia who said police raided his home after they mistook the okra he was growing for marijuana? Okra doesn’t look like pot to me, but maybe it does to a cop hovering 60 feet above in a helicopter. Watch and enjoy!
I wrote the first story about growing kale that ever appeared in Southern Living and, as a result, was nearly hauled off to the pokey by an infuriated public. And all because I offered them insight and wisdom about this neglected, nutritious veggie.
Friends of Southern Living, please sit down, for I have shocking news. I hate raw tomatoes, as well as four other iconic Southern foods.
When you have lavished your tomato plants with water, fertilizer, and love, love, love, it’s so disheartening when all the tomatoes develop disgusting black spots on the end. What causes this — fungus, Monsanto, the pharaoh’s curse? As always, Grumpy has the answer.
Woof! It’s hot! It’s dry! And if you’re like Grumpy, you’re SICK TO DEATH of watering all of your plants day after day, only to come back the next day and have them looking wilted and pathetic like you were never were there. Here’s how you can keep them alive and looking presentable without running up a $1,000 watering bill.
Incredibly wise gardeners who bought the last Southern Living Garden Book (above) published in 2004 are always asking me: “When are you going to revise it? A lot has changed in 10 years.” Grumpy has heard your pleas. And he is delighted to announce that an all-new, completely revised edition will set the world on its ear in January 2015!!!
Faithful readers, I must tell you something you never expected to hear. I failed you. Yes. The outlandishly responsible Grump, who puts your interest first and foremost, misled you in a previous column. I cannot expect forgiveness. I can only humble myself as no one else has done before and face your withering scorn.
Why, hello there, ladies. I know you love salads. You could eat a delicious salad two or three times day! So why aren’t you growing your own salad garden this spring? It’s easy, it’s quick, and the time is right. Let Grumpy show you the way.