more about: Gardening

Grumpy’s Crystal Ball Reveals New Gardening Trends for 2016

Grumpy’s gift for prognostication never fails to awe his faithful readers. As Fanny Aster of Hoppy Toad, Kentucky puts it, “He can see into the future with both eyes closed.” Once again, the Oracle of Opelika graciously shares his gift of augury with the legion of curious Fannies who depend on his foresight with the following bold predictions for Gardening […]

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Why You Can’t Kill That Mess In Your Mulch

Like any person with proper breeding, you keep your garden neat. Every year you dress up your garden beds with a fresh layer of mulch. This year, you used bark muck. Then it rained. A revolting sight greeted you the next morning. “Oh, gross! What the #$@* is that stuff?”

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6 Things All New Gardeners Should Know

Young people today are afraid of gardening. They say it’s “hard,” “mystifying,” and “intimidating.” They don’t know where to begin and they’re terrified of making a mistake. To those who shrink in fear at the prospect of tearing open a seed packet lest they suffer a paper cut, let Grumpy comfort you. Master these six basic principles and gardening will […]

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Gardening At 100 Degrees — 5 Hot Tips for Summer Survival

It’s August — the absolute worst month in the South to be a snowman, and not so great for a gardener either. You can’t stand to be outside and yet your plants need you. As you look out upon a melted mush of flowers and bushes, you may well remember the first day you planted them and ponder, “What the […]

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Grumpy’s 32 Tips For 32 Years

Today marks the start of Grumpy’s 33rd year of not being fired from Southern Living. I know, I know — how could any organization overlook more than three decades of sarcasm, bad taste, poor judgment, and blatant snarkiness? I still remember my first day on the job. I was 10 and had to sit on what was called a “telephone […]

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Mortal Combat — 5 Bad Bugs You’ll Battle This Summer

INCOMING! The following five awful pests will seek to utterly destroy both your garden and spirit this summer. How can you fight back against a voracious army that numbers in the tens of thousands? By reading this post and doing what I say. 

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The Best Trowel I’ve Ever Used

Ask any gardener what’s the most valuable tool they own and they’ll probably say a trowel. That makes sense. You use a trowel for planting a myriad of things, from annuals and perennials to bulbs and even small shrubs. You use it for carving holes in the ground, unearthing weeds, and filling pots with soil. It’s the one garden tool […]

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Make This Awesome Petunia Planter!

Always on the lookout for great plants and ideas for YOU, Grumpy recently attended Ball Horticultural Company‘s plant trials in lovely Ventura, California. And out of all the wondrous visions my eagle eyes did hit upon, here is my favorite — a tower of velvety red petunias. Now get this — there are only three petunia plants in here. That’s because […]

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Quick Fix For An Awful Yard

Question from a new reader: “Dear Grumpy, We are newlyweds and have just moved into a new house. The only problem is that the yard and garden areas are atrocious! We don’t know where to begin to deal with it. What are some quick and relatively inexpensive additions that will make our lawn and garden the talk of the neighborhood […]

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Five Fearless Predictions For 2015

  Over the years, we have established that Grumpy knows all — not just about the present, but the future too. Powered by several glasses of high-octane eggnog, he turns his Jaundiced Eye of Prognostication towards 2015 and issues five shocking predictions for the coming year.

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