People elsewhere in the country rail against lawns, but here in the rainy, humid South, we like them. They cool the air, cover up the mud, reduce run-off, stop erosion, and are tender on the tootsies. This is why you must provide them with a modicum of care, lest yours end up looking like this.
My stepson, Tom, and his fiancee, Ashley, just bought their first house. They were excited, but also intimidated by the overwhelming tasks that awaited. For 10 years, the little old lady who sold the house hadn’t cleaned inside (she had pets in there — hazmat suits required) nor trimmed anything outside. What plants should Tom and Ashley remove? What should […]
Faithful reader D.T. Matthews writes, “When my son cuts the grass, it leaves clumps all over the yard. Everywhere he cuts, it looks terrible. My neighbors are ready to run me out of the neighborhood. What is he doing wrong?”
It’s August — the absolute worst month in the South to be a snowman, and not so great for a gardener either. You can’t stand to be outside and yet your plants need you. As you look out upon a melted mush of flowers and bushes, you may well remember the first day you planted them and ponder, “What the […]
Today marks the start of Grumpy’s 33rd year of not being fired from Southern Living. I know, I know — how could any organization overlook more than three decades of sarcasm, bad taste, poor judgment, and blatant snarkiness? I still remember my first day on the job. I was 10 and had to sit on what was called a “telephone […]
You want a pretty lawn, so your neighbors won’t talk about you. (They will anyway, but let’s continue.) But you hate all the watering, fertilizing, and disease and weed control that producing one requires. So I’m going to give you an easy out — the single, best way to produce that thick, green carpet your neighbors will resent AND decrease […]
Violets are such sweet, little wildflowers that it’s hard to believe that anyone other than Dear Leader would want them dead. But believe it or not, Grumpy regularly receives requests for advice on how to eradicate these gentle plants. Has the world gone over to the dark side?
See what happens when you don’t mow your lawn and let weeds grow up all over the place? The city places an embarrassing sign in front of your house. This is Grumpy’s neighbor and Grumpy would like to know how you feel about it.
This plant sure looks pretty, doesn’t it? Kinda like English ivy with kaleidoscopic leaves of red, pink, yellow, and green. It sports pretty white flowers too. DO NOT PLANT IT! If you do, you will be sorrier than Angelina Jolie after she married Billy Bob Thornton.