more about: Lawn and Ground Cover

Grumpy’s 32 Tips For 32 Years

Today marks the start of Grumpy’s 33rd year of not being fired from Southern Living. I know, I know — how could any organization overlook more than three decades of sarcasm, bad taste, poor judgment, and blatant snarkiness? I still remember my first day on the job. I was 10 and had to sit on what was called a “telephone […]

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#1 Secret To A Pretty Lawn

You want a pretty lawn, so your neighbors won’t talk about you. (They will anyway, but let’s continue.) But you hate all the watering, fertilizing, and disease and weed control that producing one requires. So I’m going to give you an easy out — the single, best way to produce that thick, green carpet your neighbors will resent AND decrease […]

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Who Wants to Kill Violets?

Violets are such sweet, little wildflowers that it’s hard to believe that anyone other than Dear Leader would want them dead. But believe it or not, Grumpy regularly receives requests for advice on how to eradicate these gentle plants. Has the world gone over to the dark side?

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What To Do About Weedy Neighbors?

See what happens when you don’t mow your lawn and let weeds grow up all over the place? The city places an embarrassing sign in front of your house. This is Grumpy’s neighbor and Grumpy would like to know how you feel about it.

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The Worst Plant in the World

This plant sure looks pretty, doesn’t it? Kinda like English ivy with kaleidoscopic leaves of red, pink, yellow, and green. It sports pretty white flowers too. DO NOT PLANT IT! If you do, you will be sorrier than Angelina Jolie after she married Billy Bob Thornton.

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Armyworms Are Marching In

People are always yapping about needing smaller lawns. Now that can happen and they won’t need to lift a finger. In fact, they can wake up in the morning to find their lawns completely gone — thanks to the infamous fall armyworm.

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Survive the Dog Days of Watering

Woof! It’s hot! It’s dry! And if you’re like Grumpy, you’re SICK TO DEATH of watering all of your plants day after day, only to come back the next day and have them looking wilted and pathetic like you were never were there. Here’s how you can keep them alive and looking presentable without running up a $1,000 watering bill.

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Coming Soon! The Greatest Southern Gardening Book of All Time!

Incredibly wise gardeners who bought the last Southern Living Garden Book (above) published in 2004 are always asking me: “When are you going to revise it? A lot has changed in 10 years.” Grumpy has heard your pleas. And he is delighted to announce that an all-new, completely revised edition will set the world on its ear in January 2015!!!

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Don’t Mow Low!

I look at lawns as I silently walk through my neighborhood each morning, exercising my hyper-critical eye. Some lawns lush and green. Others are 30 shades of brown. What is the one mistake that turns a soft, cool carpet into a weedy, scraggly plate of pebbles? It isn’t what you might think.

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Chemical vs Organic Lawn Fertilizer — Which Works Better?

Environmentalists are always bashing my lawn. They say the fertilizer I use to make it thick and green is killing the world like that nuke plant in Japan. So last summer, I decided to experiment. I divided my lawn in lawn in half, used chemical fertilizer on one half, organic fertilizer on the other, to see which did the better […]

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