more about: Humor

Gardening At 100 Degrees — 5 Hot Tips for Summer Survival

It’s August — the absolute worst month in the South to be a snowman, and not so great for a gardener either. You can’t stand to be outside and yet your plants need you. As you look out upon a melted mush of flowers and bushes, you may well remember the first day you planted them and ponder, “What the […]

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Grumpy’s 32 Tips For 32 Years

Today marks the start of Grumpy’s 33rd year of not being fired from Southern Living. I know, I know — how could any organization overlook more than three decades of sarcasm, bad taste, poor judgment, and blatant snarkiness? I still remember my first day on the job. I was 10 and had to sit on what was called a “telephone […]

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Happy Grumpy Mother’s Day! Surf’s Up!

Yes, it’s Mother’s Day, that special period of 24 hours when all the people of the world stop to consider just how much their mothers mean to them. Judy and I have gone all out for Mother’s Day this year. We’re spending it at the beach!

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Hooray! Time For World Naked Gardening Day!

If you think the only point of gardening is to bare your soul, you are sadly mistaken. Saturday, May 2, is World Naked Gardening Day, and I know you’ll want to participate!

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Crepe Murder Winner #1 — Confess Your Sin & Repent!

Friends, Grumpy believes the Big Guy loves us all and is willing to extend mercy to anyone who confesses to crepe murder and promises never to do something so horrible again. Even if the guilty party is a church.

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OMG! Look What They Did to This Amaryllis!

Do you think that plants have feelings? Then you might not want to read any further. On the other hand, if watching a bulb bloom its heart out for you shortly before it breathes its last makes your day, do I have the perfect holiday present for you! An amaryllis bulb coated in colorful wax!

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Christmas Gifts From My Heart

With only two weeks to go until your favorite day to shower Grumpy with gifts, Grumpy has more outstanding garden gift ideas for you to bestow on your loved ones. Get your credit card ready!

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All She Wants For Christmas Is Blue Orchids and Poo!

Christmas brings joy, but it can also bring pain–especially if someone in your family is so insensitive and self-absorbed they never give you what you want. Show those people the error of their ways with these excellent garden gifts chosen by Grumpy.

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You Make Grumpy Grateful

Grumpy has a lot to be grateful for. Nobel Prize. Pulitzer Prize. Congressional Medal of Freedom. Bringing peace to war-torn Aruba. Never once been mistaken for Bruce Jenner. Yet he is thankful for one thing above all else.

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Grow Your Own Turkey This Year

“Eat fresh, eat local” may be the mantra of foodies today, but not when it come to the year’s greatest feast, Thanksgiving. Too many people still rely on frozen, store-bought turkeys, denying themselves the pleasure of a succulent, richly flavored, home-grown bird. Growing a turkey is easy, fun, and cheap! Here’s how to do it. Step 1 — Select Good […]

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