Grumpy has a lot to be grateful for. Nobel Prize. Pulitzer Prize. Congressional Medal of Freedom. Bringing peace to war-torn Aruba. Never once been mistaken for Bruce Jenner. Yet he is thankful for one thing above all else.
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Alabama leads the nations in strokes and Grumpy almost had one when he viewed this, our final winner in Crepe Murder 2014. This, my friends, represents no momentary lapse of reason. No, this hack job results from years of carefully considered sadism.