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OMG! Look What They Did to This Amaryllis!

Do you think that plants have feelings? Then you might not want to read any further. On the other hand, if watching a bulb bloom its heart out for you shortly before it breathes its last makes your day, do I have the perfect holiday present for you! An amaryllis bulb coated in colorful wax!

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Christmas Gifts From My Heart

With only two weeks to go until your favorite day to shower Grumpy with gifts, Grumpy has more outstanding garden gift ideas for you to bestow on your loved ones. Get your credit card ready!

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All She Wants For Christmas Is Blue Orchids and Poo!

Christmas brings joy, but it can also bring pain–especially if someone in your family is so insensitive and self-absorbed they never give you what you want. Show those people the error of their ways with these excellent garden gifts chosen by Grumpy.

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More Christmas Gifts From Grumpy

Black Friday may be over, but thanks to Grumpy, Christmas shopping is naught but blue skies ahead! Here are three more gifts every gardener will want, because I’ve talked to them all and they said so.

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Grumpy’s Christmas Gifts For You

Oh! No! No! The holiday season is upon us again, which means many of you are looking down the barrel of disappointing even more people with your gifts this year. Be not afraid. Grumpy has perused and evaluated thousands of gifts that will delight even the most discerning gardener. Every post from now until Christmas will feature unique items sure […]

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Eat Kale, Stay Out of Jail

I wrote the first story about growing kale that ever appeared in Southern Living and, as a result, was nearly hauled off to the pokey by an infuriated public. And all because I offered them insight and wisdom about this neglected, nutritious veggie.

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Evergreens Turning Brown? Blame It On Bagworms

Last week, your evergreen tree looked lush and green. Now it’s been turning brown and decorating itself with little seed cones. What the heck is going on? As always, Grumpy has the answer.

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Wahoo! You Have Powdery Mildew

It’s a wonderful morning in a heretofore wonderful world. You walk out to your garden, only to discover to your shame and horror that some miscreant has confused it with a baby’s bottom and showered Johnson’s Baby Powder all over your plants.

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Chemical vs Organic Lawn Fertilizer — Which Works Better?

Environmentalists are always bashing my lawn. They say the fertilizer I use to make it thick and green is killing the world like that nuke plant in Japan. So last summer, I decided to experiment. I divided my lawn in lawn in half, used chemical fertilizer on one half, organic fertilizer on the other, to see which did the better […]

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Where Life Really Sucks — Cities with the Worst Mosquitoes

Life bites in Atlanta. The world sucks in Memphis. And folks in Houston are itching to leave. Why? Because Orkin, the well-known pest control company, just named these towns as three of its top 20 mosquito cities. The news has Southerners buzzing.

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