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Eat Kale, Stay Out of Jail

I wrote the first story about growing kale that ever appeared in Southern Living and, as a result, was nearly hauled off to the pokey by an infuriated public. And all because I offered them insight and wisdom about this neglected, nutritious veggie.

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Evergreens Turning Brown? Blame It On Bagworms

Last week, your evergreen tree looked lush and green. Now it’s been turning brown and decorating itself with little seed cones. What the heck is going on? As always, Grumpy has the answer.

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Wahoo! You Have Powdery Mildew

It’s a wonderful morning in a heretofore wonderful world. You walk out to your garden, only to discover to your shame and horror that some miscreant has confused it with a baby’s bottom and showered Johnson’s Baby Powder all over your plants.

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Chemical vs Organic Lawn Fertilizer — Which Works Better?

Environmentalists are always bashing my lawn. They say the fertilizer I use to make it thick and green is killing the world like that nuke plant in Japan. So last summer, I decided to experiment. I divided my lawn in lawn in half, used chemical fertilizer on one half, organic fertilizer on the other, to see which did the better […]

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Where Life Really Sucks — Cities with the Worst Mosquitoes

Life bites in Atlanta. The world sucks in Memphis. And folks in Houston are itching to leave. Why? Because Orkin, the well-known pest control company, just named these towns as three of its top 20 mosquito cities. The news has Southerners buzzing.

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Tweet! Tweet! Twitter Chat With Grumpy

Grumpy realizes how frustrating it is not to be able to converse with the High Pundit of Horticulture in real-time. Well, whimper with your laptop no longer! This coming Monday, May 19, you’ll be able to chat LIVE with the Grump on Twitter for an entire hour beginning at 1 PM EDT! And there will be prizes!!

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Friends Don’t Let Friends Use Ethanol

This is strange Mr. Thomas. Mr. Thomas may look like a terrorist, but he’s really a nice guy. Only his lawn mower, leaf blower, string trimmer, or anything else powered by small gas engine will think he’s a terrorist if he pours the new E85 gasohol blend in the tank. Because that extra ethanol will kill the engine faster than […]

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Mole Control — What Works?

Faithful reader Brandy Bumpus says moles fighting moles in her yard is turning into trench warfare. She begs Grumpy for advice on the best way to get rid of these tunneling terrorists. As always, the ever-generous Grump is delighted to help.

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These Geese Must Go!

Geese are only nice swimming on someone else’s pond. When it’s YOUR pond, geese are the worst thing that can happen this side of a Justin Bieber skinny-dipping party. Let’s examine several different ways to give geese the heave-ho.

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Let It Snow? Oh, No!

Many Southerners hate snow. But have you ever asked your plants how they feel about it? No? Then put down that pitcher of spiked eggnog, turn off the 40-year old Bing Crosby tape, and hop to it. Because depending on the type and amount, snow can be a blessing or a curse for plants. Here’s why.

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