Southerners are fixated on crepe myrtles — mainly because they butchered so many this winter and now want them fixed. Following Crepe Murder 2015, scores of pitiful emails from crepe criminals needing their consciences scrubbed flooded Grumpy’s email box. “Have I killed my crepe myrtle?” they ask. “Is there any way to fix what I did?” No, you probably haven’t […]
more about: Trees and Shrubs
Oooh, the irony of our latest example of crepe murder is just too good. Here we have a most sadly abused plant growing right in front of a Dollar Tree — a store that sells everything for a buck. So the question you must ask yourself now is, “Would I pay a dollar for this tree?”
The season is upon us, so watch out. Any day now, some unemployed, middle-school graduate with a borrowed chainsaw and a mud-caked pickup is going to knock on your door and say you have a problem that needs fixing. Those big trees of yours need shortening bad. If you say yes, not only will you be fleeced of a couple of […]
The TV weather people are giddy right now, because after a boring year with hardly any hurricanes or tornadoes to terrify us with, now an Arctic blast is poised to freeze America’s hiney off. And not just in Minnesota, where thousands of folks lose their hinies every winter. In Mobile, the temp dropped to 20 degrees this morning, sufficiently frigid […]
Black Friday may be over, but thanks to Grumpy, Christmas shopping is naught but blue skies ahead! Here are three more gifts every gardener will want, because I’ve talked to them all and they said so.