more about: Trees and Shrubs

Crepe Murder 2014 — All Flags At Half Mast

Crepe Murder 2014 is a national tragedy not only for the innocent trees so brutally attacked, but also for the many people who suffer permanent psychological scarring from witnessing these crimes. In honor of these victims, both wooden and flesh, Grumpy asks that all Americans lower Old Glory to half mast today.

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Crepe Murder 2014 — Oh, the Humanity!

The person responsible for this mass crepe murder in McComb, Mississippi obviously believes any crime worth committing is worth committing 50 times. Imagine the joy he must have torturing one innocent crepe myrtle a day for nearly two months! And so we present you with winner #4 in Crepe Murder 2014.

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Crepe Murder 2014 — How to Curb Your Appeal

Your local power company knows all about curb appeal. How else could it do exactly what it takes to completely eliminate it time after time? In this case, it took a chainsaw to a double row of crepe myrtles planted to beautify a street in Jacksonville, Florida. For sending Grumpy this excellent example of suburban uglification, Linda Burns is our […]

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Crepe Murder 2014 — A Model of Hideousness

Welcome to Crepe Murder 2014, our celebration of the most boneheaded attempts at pruning crepe myrtles from the past year! This year, the competition was so fierce and the entries so bizarre that we couldn’t have just 10 winners. We had to have 13. So it is with great pride for the reporting and great sadness for the plant that […]

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Are My Fried Plants Dead?

The longer this cold winter goes on, the more plants (particularly evergreens) take it on the chin. Many look brown and dead, like a grilled squirrel (yum!). So people keep asking me if they should they prune off the brown stuff now or wait to see if the plant recovers.

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Meet the Love Plants

She’s always been your girl. When the moment is right, you want to respond. But your male dysfunction — that could be a lack of gardening know-how. Fortunately, there’s an answer. A new book by Helen Yoest called Plants with Benefits.

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Death by Pruning — Crepe Murder 2014!!

Faithful readers, lend me your ears, your eyes, and your cameras! Once again, it is time to turn the Spotlight of Shame on the ugliest, most pernicious, and inexplicably popular practice plaguing gardens today — crepe murder.

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Warm Up Your Winter With Paperbush

It’s 15 degrees on this January morning — so cold that when I look through the window at my bird feeder outside, even the chickadees chickadon’t. Yet I know that in just a few weeks one of Grumpy’s favorite winter shrubs will fill the garden with fragrant, golden orbs of happiness — paperbush.

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Coming Soon! Crepe Murder 2014!

You’ve fidgeted through the football season, groaned through the Golden Globes, and doodled through “Downton Abbey.” HOW MUCH LONGER MUST WE WAIT? you bellow from your recliner. Fear not, faithful reader! Grumpy’s Crepe Murder Contest 2014 is only weeks away! Start looking for horrors right now!

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Don’t Cut Back “Dead” Plants Yet

It was colder than Bernie Madoff’s heart this week. My poor avocado tree turned from green to black and brown. But I’m not going to cut it back just yet. Here’s why you, too, should pocket your pruners for another month or two.

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