One of the first of many commands my wife gave me after we got married was to rip up all the nandinas in front of my house. “It makes the house look abandoned,” she stated. “If you don’t do it, I will.”
Why are zombie shows so popular on TV? Is it because everyone admires Dick Cheney’s life story? I think it’s because the people who play zombies don’t really have to act. All they have to do is talk unintelligibly, walk like penguins, and get their heads blown off. Easy gig. But what about trees and other plants? Can they come […]
Let me tell you how nice butterflies are. They’re bugs and Grumpy likes them. I bet you like them too. To see more of them in your garden, you need to plant flowers that attract them. These five do the job magnificently.
Sometimes when I condemn crepe murder, people only think about the grisly carnage left immediately after the crime is committed. They forget about the disaster that’s looming when the tree starts growing back and gets ready to bloom. Here’s a photo I took this week in my neighborhood of exactly the horror each murderer can expect. People with sensitive stomachs […]
Did you know that the common boxwood is the world’s oldest cultivated ornamental plant? That’s right. The Egyptians were adorning their gardens with it as far back as 4,000 BC. And ever since then, people have been trying to decide whether they should pamper their boxwood or feed it to the camels.
Pruning is one garden task that scares the All-Bran out of people. They’re afraid that if they prune something at the wrong time, they’ll ruin it, kill it, or look like a dolt. Relax, my children. The Grump is here to help.
What is the sweetest flower of all? Answer that question and I can probably tell what’s growing in your garden. Of all our senses, I think smell is the one most closely linked to memory. A single whiff of a flower instantly transports you back to a time and place when you encountered it as a child.
Hope springs eternal in the garden. Your shrub or tree should have put out leaves a month ago, yet its stems remain bare. Did it just forget spring is almost over? Did it decide to sleep in? Do plants sometimes skip a year? Nope, nope, and nope. Sorry, but it’s time to cut your losses.
The azaleas in front of Grumpy’s palace are in full bloom now and looking glorious. But they wouldn’t be if they hadn’t been pruned at the right time. They’d be boring, green blobs. Here’s how to prune azaleas correctly and avoid the state of green blobness so prevalent in our neighborhoods.
When Northerners move to the South, there’s no doubt about the plant they mourn the most — their beloved lilac. Lilacs just don’t bloom here due to our short, mild winters. But now I hear a new lilac is blooming well all the way down to the Gulf Coast! Could this be true?