more about: watering

Who Stopped the Rain?

It’s a beautiful morning today at my home in north-central Alabama. The air is cool and crisp, the sand dunes shimmer with the first rays of dawn, and the only sounds I hear are the quiet murmurs of Bedouins and camels passing by in the distance. Only a few months ago, trees and shrubs and flowers and grass marred this […]

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Survive the Dog Days of Watering

Woof! It’s hot! It’s dry! And if you’re like Grumpy, you’re SICK TO DEATH of watering all of your plants day after day, only to come back the next day and have them looking wilted and pathetic like you were never were there. Here’s how you can keep them alive and looking presentable without running up a $1,000 watering bill.

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6 Watering Mistakes You’ve Probably Already Made

My plants demand it, but I hate watering. Every minute I spend at one end of a garden hose is like a teaspoon of my soul being sucked into Purgatory. I loathe wasting water even more, which is something I see gardeners do all the time.

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Throw-Down Thursday: What to Do in the Garden This Weekend

“Breaking Bad” has run its course, you’ve binge-watched “Game of Thrones” until you know all of the characters and forgotten your kids, and you’re seriously considering saying “no” to the dress. These are all signs that you need to work in your garden this weekend. The following timely tasks will get you back on course.

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To Do Or Not To Do — Gardening Tips for September

August is the cruelest month for the gardener. Although July is actually hotter in many places, August always feels hotter. Grumpy surmises this is because after enduring a blistering June and a scorching July, gardeners are pretty much sick of summer. Sick of watering. Sick of weeding. Sick of deadheading. Sick of sweating. Sick of pulling up dead stuff. Sick […]

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Don’t Be a Lawn Watering Dummy

Following up last week’s strident defense of every American’s right to grow a lawn, Grumpy needs to educate his countrymen on how to do so wisely, responsibly, and efficiently. Because when it comes to lawn care, there’s a lot of dumbness going on. Nothing is stupider than the way people water. People water too much, too often, at the wrong […]

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Watering New Plants — A How-to from Grumpy

You’d be amazed how many homeowners haven’t the slightest clue about how to water so that new plants will live. They think that waving a nozzle over the plants for 1.2 seconds a day will magically supply all the moisture their petunias and begonias need, leaving them free to down a pitcher of margaritas. THIS IS WRONG, so with the help of […]

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Save the Planet! Don’t Cut Your Grass

I hate watering plants. The way I see it, if any plant can’t naturally survive 6 weeks without rain, it shouldn’t be here to begin with. Survival of the fittest, baby. And of all the things I hate to water, watering the grass is numero uno and for very logical and well-considered reasons. (This is standard for the Grump.) 1. Unless […]

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