If you’ve been the victim of a vicious crepe murder, in which a formerly beautiful plant was savagely chopped into stumps, Southern Living would like to help. We can show you how to restore the looks of even the most insanely pruned crepe myrtle by taking a few, simple steps. But in order to qualify for our expert (and free!) advice, you must live in the Birmingham, AL metro area and agree to have your crepe myrtle photographed for a story.

Want to end the crime of crepe murder forever? Send Grumpy a photo of your murdered myrtle and we’ll show lucky winners how to fix it.

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Grumpy has written more about pruning crepe myrtles than anyone else on the planet. For advice on properly pruning them, just type “crepe myrtle” into the “Search This Blog” box.