With everyone’s tomatoes, petunias, and Himalayan poppies all burned up and looking hideous, it’s fessin’ up time in the Land of the Grump. Fold your hands and answer truthfully.
* What beautiful plant did you kill through your own sheer neglect?
* What rampaging plant did you try out that’s now taken over your yard?
* What little plant that you stuck by the front door has now completely hidden your house?
* Why did you say “Yes” to the gap-toothed stranger who offered to trim your bushes?
* Did you scalp your lawn below ground level so it wouldn’t need cutting as much?
* Why did you think a California redwood would be perfect for your yard in Laredo?
The Truth Will Set You Free
I know it’s hard for many of you to admit mistakes in public, but don’t be shy. Even Grumpy kills things. (In most cases, they deserved to die, but that’s beside the point.) Admitting the truth is cathartic — it makes you feel better. It also makes everyone who reads about it and didn’t make that same stupid mistake feel better. So see, it a real win-win for everybody.
Ask Erin Street, who writes our Live Healthy blog. We’re doing a makeover of her front yard. Part of the new planting is a big sweep of ‘Cleopatra’ liriope that produces very showy purple flowers in summer. Erin, a great-niece of Morticia Addams, thought the flowers were weeds. So she picked them off. Guess we won’t be taking pictures of her yard this year! But she fessed up, so she’s forgiven.
Grumpy’s Grand Guilty Give-Away!
Our marketing people tell me readers love giveaways. So I’m announcing the Grumpy Gardener’s First Annual Guilty Giveaway! Just publicly confess to your wrong-doing in this forum and six lucky winners will have all their garden guilt permanently erased.
Don’t be selfish. Help others benefit from your egregious goof-ups. So who’ll be first? What’s the dumbest thing you did in your garden this year?