The second episode of Jersey Belle is nothing if not an exercise in juxtaposition, though not nearly as tiring as riding Arden’s mini horse must be. The City of Angels vs. The Tiny Kingdom. A wedding vs. heartbreak. Looming rain vs. a September drought. The stage is set for drama and suspense, and that’s not even considering William’s missing mother. Has anyone called the police? The woman’s been gone for two episodes, but no one seems particularly bothered by her absence. There’s a Law & Order subplot to be had! But more on that in a moment.
“I don’t do anything half-assed when I dive into things. For me, it’s both butt cheeks,” says Jaime in one of her less profane monologues. But her claims seem fraught, as she’s splitting time in Los Angeles, where she’s working an event for her client Wayne Brady—yes, that Wayne Brady—and trying to rush back for Arden’s wedding reception. After all, she wouldn’t want to miss Arden’s marriage into Mountain Brook! Anyhow, Jaime is an honorary bridesmaid, which basically means she doesn’t have to buy a dress.
So, with a cross around her neck and one on her phone cover (presumably to match the gates of Arden’s future estate), Jaime heads to Los Angeles to hang out with 90s stars All 4 One, Dave Chapelle’s best friend Wayne Brady, and American Pie’s Chris Klein. Though it seems like she scooped up all her clients in the last millennium, you can’t argue with her when she says, “I’m damn good at my job.” After all, when was the last time these celebrities were on the small screen?
Quick aside: There were far more shots of Los Angeles than there were of Birmingham/Mountain Brook/Vestavia (the latter is where much of this is actually shot), unless you count that infamous estate. Let’s see more of the city we’re in, Bravo! Though, Los Angeles. did give us the opportunity to hear Jaime say, “I didn’t make babies with Travis Barker, dude,” and “My L.A. friends have no idea why I live in Birmingham.”
Game of Thrones fans might notice similarities between a Westeros marrying of families and Arden’s ascent into The Tiny Kingdom. Let’s not forget the cross-laden gates to a horse-filled estate. But rest assured this will only be a red wedding if both Jaime (not Lannister) and William’s mother remain MIA. Instead, it’s shaping up to be a wet wedding, which I’ll be the first to admit doesn’t have the same ring to it. Aside from the fact that it hasn’t rained for all of September—everyone on this show apparently minored in meteorology—Luci might not be able to contain her own waterworks.
That’s because her long-distance boyfriend of four months, the offscreen Jeff, has called things off. Apparently, Luci enjoys reading too much! During a recent visit, she decided to spend twenty minutes with a book, at which point Jeff couldn’t contain his confusion. “Are you still reading?” he allegedly asked, which led him to the decision not to move to Birmingham and eventually marry Luci after all.
Props to Jaime for handling the breakup with surprising aplomb. Instead of tossing down the easy Jersey “I told you so,” she identifies with Luci’s troubles as a working mother trying to make it work by comparing her and her husband—hope he never watches the show!—as “ships passing in the night” before diving into Jaime-esque personal details that would give my editor a stroke if repeated here.
That’s not Jaime’s last human moment in this episode either. While in Los Angeles she drops the narrative bombshell that will presumably arc during the next few installments: she wants a fourth kid.
It ends with Jaime on a plane, rain coming down in Birmingham, and everyone in a classic high-society tizzy.
- Yes, it is Southern tradition to bury a bottle of bourbon, but most people use a shovel, not a Bobcat.
- Jaime is really, really, really anti-monogramming. Key line: “I know whose bathroom this is!”
- The comparison of William and Arden’s relationship to Game of Thrones feels even more apt when Arden says, “Horses really bring William and I together. I think the love’s the same.”
- Alabama vs. Auburn makes a brief (and ultimately sad) appearance when Jeff promises to set up two TVs in Luci’s house to watch the games. Though you have to admit that moment of a house divided is some pretty slick foreshadowing.
- There was the sound of a horse urinating edited into this piece. There isn’t much to say about that, other than in some editing room, someone thought this was a good idea.
Many of you have rightly noted that the women on this show don’t actually live in Mountain Brook, as pointed out by our colleagues at Al.com. This appears to be correct, but we’re going to recap the show as it’s presented.