Why I Hate Fall by Judy Bender

October 25, 2015 | By | Comments (39)
Sugar maples in fall. Photo: Steve Bender

Sugar maples in fall. Photo: Steve Bender

And you thought I was grumpy. I have just been informed by my lovely wife, Judy, that fall is her least favorite season. “I hate fall,” she states as I start to feel faint. Grumpy LOVES fall! How can anyone hate it? Here are her reasons.

Reason #1 — Leaves Falling Everywhere

Ginkgo

Ugly ginkgo leaves litter the ground. Photo: Steve Bender

“Landscapes are messy! No clean, green lines. No edged sidewalks. Every crevice is filled with dry leaves and walkways are covered with pine straw.”

Reason #2 — Autumn Blooms Are Blah

Dahlias

Judy inspects pathetic monochromatic dahlia blossoms during our fall trip to Paris two years ago. Photo: Steve Bender

“All of the plants look ragged. Even the standard flowering plants (in limited colors) are pathetic when compared to the bounty of summer blooms.”

Reason #3 — The Light Is All Wrong

Sunset

Disturbing light at sunset. Photo: Steve Bender

“I don’t like the angle of the sun in the fall. It hurts my eyes.”

Reason #4 — Warm One Day, Cool The Next

Roller Skates

Fall is so hard to dress for. Photo: grabberwocky.com

“The temperature is unpredictable. You never know whether it’s sweat shirts or flip-flops to go to Wal-Mart.” Indeed.

Reason #5 — Fall Means Winter Is Coming

Utter bleakness follows fall. Photo: Steve Bender

Utter bleakness follows fall. Photo: Steve Bender

“I prefer the bleakness of winter because the promise of spring is just around the corner. Unfortunately, fall only promises the bleakness of winter. Thank God, we have the holidays and Netflix binges to see us through.”

Grumpy is verklempt. How many other secret autumn haters lurk out there oblivious to the beauty of moldy, falling leaves, acorns and pine cones that hit your house like bombs in the middle of the night, and sunlight that blinds you on your afternoon drive home? Are you one of them? Judy wants to hear from you.

 

 

COMMENTS

  1. Beth

    I hate fall. With you 110 percent.

    July 17, 2016 at 5:43 pm
  2. James Osier

    Where in the world do you shop for groceries?

    November 22, 2015 at 9:21 am
  3. BestGirl

    Dear Grumpy,
    How can a man who does not like tomatoes poke fun at a woman who does not like fall? Just sayin’.

    October 27, 2015 at 2:49 pm
  4. Kathleen

    Mary Pooe,
    Each yard’s different & this may not work for you, but I’ve learned the redneck solution is to just run the mower over the leaves & not bother raking them up. It makes a light mulch that eventually breaks down. Just wear eye protection, especially if the leaves are dry.

    October 27, 2015 at 8:45 am
  5. Brynn

    The only thing I don’t like about fall is all the people who are too lazy to handle their leaves and such properly, and burn them instead. *grumbles*

    October 27, 2015 at 6:26 am
  6. Mary Pooe

    I don’t hate fall, but the falling leaves are overwhelming at times. My husband mulches them and two days later the yard is covered. We have lots of trees and lots of leaves. Yard is not at its best in the fall.

    October 26, 2015 at 10:38 pm
  7. Susan Peterson

    Sorry, Judy, I’m a fall-lover. By the time we finally cool off a little here in central Florida, I am ecstatic!

    October 26, 2015 at 7:49 pm
  8. Winter Hater

    Totally agree with Judy…especially the part about it meaning that winter is almost here.

    October 26, 2015 at 6:28 pm
  9. Carol King

    Not me Grumpy! I love the fall. All the colors, the cool mornings, no bugs, no weeds to pull, no grass to cut. Fall is awesome. It’s hot, sticky, constant yard work summer that I Despise. Hate summer. Just hate it.

    October 26, 2015 at 3:17 pm
  10. karen s

    I am with Judy. Acorns hail down on my roof and windows when it is windy, they can make quite the noise. I twisted my ankle on one last week and was laid up for 2 days! But the worst thing about fall is what I call the Groundhog Day Effect. We can spend 4 or more hours blowing and removing leaves and acorns, and the next day it is as if we did nothing. So we do it again, and guess what? Same. Over and over and over again.

    October 26, 2015 at 12:45 pm
  11. Patti McDavid

    After months of oppressive humidity and heat Fall is a welcome reprieve!

    October 26, 2015 at 11:26 am
  12. Nancy Runyan

    I like fall,do not rake just let the leaves lay.I do not like being cold and would go south if I could.

    October 26, 2015 at 10:11 am
  13. Brenda Caldwell

    You forgot to mention the flu, bronchitis, sore throats and ear infections🙂 I’m with you!

    October 26, 2015 at 9:42 am
  14. Brenda Keller

    October is my birth month and truly the only reason to awake for three months! One more comment on the beauty of fall leaves will leave me angry and wanting to scream that the poor trees are only dying not blossoming with beauty. April. Now that is a month to truly appreciate. Everything is fresh and new. The ground warms and cracks as new blossoms begin their long journey to the sun. Autumn is for tearing down and cleaning up everything that the warm months gave us. We have only time to wait to begin again.

    October 26, 2015 at 9:34 am
  15. Bobbie Hendrix

    I am with Judy all the way! Fall is only an intro to darkness, bleak, gray skies and COLD temps requiring multiple layers of clothing.

    October 26, 2015 at 8:40 am
  16. Kathleen

    Fall is beautiful but there’s definitely a sad element, too.

    October 26, 2015 at 8:21 am
  17. grammyg53

    What is this word “Fall” of which you speak? Verklempt reminds me of my days in Lancaster County, PA which leads me into thinking of months of months of that white stuff. And road cinders. Not to be confused with road apples. Those, too, are typical of Lancaster County. Now I am in beautiful sunny Florida where my dress code is fairly the same for six and one-half days of the week. Shorts and flip-flops and long or short or sleeveless shirts. And football. Yes. Life is great, y’all. GO CLEMSON!!! I think I’ll go take a walk along the beach today…

    p.s. My friend on the Gulf side messaged me yesterday that she had just received a bag of leaves from a friend “up north”. My response. “WHY?” teehee

    October 26, 2015 at 6:43 am
  18. LeAnn

    I was a fall hater for the same reason although it was always beautiful, it was just a promis of winter to come. Freezing to death, being wet, shoveling snow almost daily, pushing snow with my car as I went in to work early and the plows hadn’t done our neighborhood yet. Wondering if I’d get stuck somewhere. Wearing tons of clothes, watching my garden die an ugly brown death. I lived in Michigan. I now live in SC. I have a new appreciation for fall. I can enjoy the colors, the feel of the air. The smells. We do get ocassional snow, and it does get cold. But it doesn’t last for 6 months of the year. It’s a short resting period from late fall to early spring. I used to just dread fall, now I look at it as a relief from the southern heat for a few months.

    October 26, 2015 at 5:59 am
  19. Barbara F.

    Rakes, or hire a cleanup guy, Zyrtec, pansies and mums are quite colorful, sunglasses and visors help with the beautiful autumn sunsets, keep sweaters or a medium weight jacket handy, no biggie at all. I LOVE FALL. ALL OF IT. YOU CAN KEEP THE BLEAKNESS OF WINTER! lol lol

    October 25, 2015 at 11:07 pm
  20. Suzanne

    I am in total agreement. I hate winter and Fall only reminds me that it is just around the corner.

    October 25, 2015 at 11:06 pm
  21. Linda Crawford

    Judy, you go Girl. I agree although this year’s been so snakey, there’s a little part of me that’s almost glad or see cooler weather.

    October 25, 2015 at 10:28 pm
  22. Sharon

    Allergies. ‘Nuff said.

    October 25, 2015 at 10:01 pm
  23. Anne

    I use to love fall. I still love many of the elements of fall like the colors, fresh fall apples, football, a break from the heat. However, fall is depressing. Everything is dying. The trees will soon be bare. The days are so short (I hate that it is dark as soon as I leave work). Fall just makes me sad.

    October 25, 2015 at 9:56 pm
  24. Betsy K

    I like fall much better now that I don’t have to go back to school anymore like I did in the ’60s and ’70s. But alas, a new fall threat has arisen: pumpkin spice everything. I hate pumpkin spice. Every year I deign to have one, and only one, piece of pumpkin pie because I don’t want to be a Thanksgiving Scrooge, but this increasing use of pumpkin spice in everything (Pumpkin Spice Pringles, M&Ms, Twinkies? Yuck!) is causing me to rethink seriously my newfound appreciation of fall beauty. I eagerly await the end of pumpkin spice season.

    October 25, 2015 at 9:51 pm
  25. Teresa Bearden

    Don’t forget the days get shorter. I hate that. Not a fan of fall. I try make my self feel better with lots of pumpkin spice flavored treats and football games.

    October 25, 2015 at 9:36 pm
  26. Karen

    I’m with Judy about the sun, otherwise I love the cool mornings and warmer afternoons. They are not super hot and no humidity, just right.

    October 25, 2015 at 9:22 pm
  27. Susan

    I’m with Judy! I was just telling my kids today how I hate how the sun is always in my eyes in the Fall and how Fall means winter will be here soon. It can be beautiful but give me summer. We live in Chicago now and the Springs are awful, the only decent season is summer.

    October 25, 2015 at 9:07 pm
  28. Phyllis Wenger

    Being in Arizona, fall is my favorite season. The scorching heat is gone and the week of winter is on it’s way! I truly dislike spring because summer is right around the corner. Most of the beautiful flowers are baked to a crisp in the summer in my part of the country. I will enjoy the beauty of fall for all of the “haters”.

    October 25, 2015 at 9:01 pm
  29. Sandy

    I’m right there with you, Judy!

    October 25, 2015 at 8:57 pm
  30. Nancy

    I think she and my husband are the same person. But I love fall🙂

    October 25, 2015 at 8:56 pm
  31. Ann

    I love fall and everything about it.

    October 25, 2015 at 7:48 pm
  32. Denny Gross

    I thought I was the only person who hates fall! Judy, I love you! Having grown up in the South, the thought of the coming subzero temps. here in Michigan is depressing. I won’t be able to garden until next May. That’s seven months from now, people.

    October 25, 2015 at 7:25 pm
  33. Brenda Lockerman

    “I prefer the bleakness of winter because the promise of spring is just around the corner.” I have said almost the same thing. Fall is my least favorite season of the year because summer is my favorite and fall means summer is gone. I love the long days of summer. As a child summer meant some of my favorite things like swimming, going barefoot, vacation, watermelon and no school (even though I ready to go back by September). Now Fall means my caladiums are no longer pretty.

    October 25, 2015 at 3:48 pm
  34. Laura C

    Hahahahaha. This whole post delighted me, thank you so much! “I prefer the bleakness of winter because the promise of spring is just around the corner. Unfortunately, fall only promises the bleakness of winter.” – can’t argue with that logic😉

    October 25, 2015 at 12:26 pm
  35. Jan

    Sorry Judy, I’m with the fall lovers on this one. September and October are glorious. But I do hate November when the leaves are gone, the rain is drizzly and cold, and darkness falls so early after Daylight Savings Time is gone. Thanksgiving and family fun are November’s only saving graces. That and looking forward to the first snowfall.

    October 25, 2015 at 11:44 am
  36. Carolyn Choi

    Love the cooler temperatures but other than that I’m with you Judy !

    October 25, 2015 at 11:15 am
  37. Aracely Saenz

    Love fall. Reason N·1. I love that:)
    Reason N·4. Funny and true. The other reasons she is right.Great pictures🙂

    October 25, 2015 at 10:53 am
  38. melissaaseng118

    Judy, Judy, Judy!! This pains me. I ❤️❤️❤️ The fall. While I agree on some points, it’s so pretty and makes you want to curl up by a fire, pick pumpkins, and hand out candy to the little monsters on Halloween.

    One word – sweatshirts! I’ll be wearing one today and I cannot wait!!

    Whatever can we do to make you change how you feel about the fall?? I’m so sad.

    Melissa

    October 25, 2015 at 10:38 am
  39. amygreeson

    First, let me tell you, I LOOOOOVE your use of the work verklempt! I am not a fall hater, but I do understand the frustration of not knowing how to dress for the day! I am in North Georgia and my children wear coats to the bus stop with capris and short sleeved shirts underneath.

    October 25, 2015 at 10:36 am

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