Friends, please observe a moment of silence with me as we remember six beloved friends who recently fell at the hands of a madman. We may never know what motivated this tortured individual to lash out so violently and ignorantly. We only know these poor crepe myrtles were mutilated and we mourn them.
Recent Posts By Steve Bender
Oooh, the irony of our latest example of crepe murder is just too good. Here we have a most sadly abused plant growing right in front of a Dollar Tree — a store that sells everything for a buck. So the question you must ask yourself now is, “Would I pay a dollar for this tree?”
Faithful readers, Grumpy has returned from his perilous diplomatic mission to Asia safe and sound! He knows you were terribly worried about his welfare, but assures you that aside from a little Confucius Revenge, he is fine. Thanks to everyone who entered Crepe Murder 2015. Judging will commence immediately and the results will make at least 10 of you famous.
It’s that most wonderful time of the year! Football is over, bored husbands aren’t sober, and crepe myrtles are near! It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Yes, Crepe Murder is back for its fourth incredible year, all made possible by two things — ignorant men armed with loppers and pruning saws and vigilant, sneaky readers like you armed […]
You loved your poinsettia during the holidays, but (news flash!) the holidays are over. Now your plant is starting to look a little sad. One overarching question courses through your brain. What am I supposed to do with the dang thing now?
The season is upon us, so watch out. Any day now, some unemployed, middle-school graduate with a borrowed chainsaw and a mud-caked pickup is going to knock on your door and say you have a problem that needs fixing. Those big trees of yours need shortening bad. If you say yes, not only will you be fleeced of a couple of […]