Question from a new reader: “Dear Grumpy, We are newlyweds and have just moved into a new house. The only problem is that the yard and garden areas are atrocious! We don’t know where to begin to deal with it. What are some quick and relatively inexpensive additions that will make our lawn and garden the talk of the neighborhood […]
Recent Posts By Steve Bender
It’s that most wonderful time of the year! Football is over, bored husbands aren’t sober, and crepe myrtles are near! It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Yes, Crepe Murder is back for its fourth incredible year, all made possible by two things — ignorant men armed with loppers and pruning saws and vigilant, sneaky readers like you armed […]
You loved your poinsettia during the holidays, but (news flash!) the holidays are over. Now your plant is starting to look a little sad. One overarching question courses through your brain. What am I supposed to do with the dang thing now?
The season is upon us, so watch out. Any day now, some unemployed, middle-school graduate with a borrowed chainsaw and a mud-caked pickup is going to knock on your door and say you have a problem that needs fixing. Those big trees of yours need shortening bad. If you say yes, not only will you be fleeced of a couple of […]
The TV weather people are giddy right now, because after a boring year with hardly any hurricanes or tornadoes to terrify us with, now an Arctic blast is poised to freeze America’s hiney off. And not just in Minnesota, where thousands of folks lose their hinies every winter. In Mobile, the temp dropped to 20 degrees this morning, sufficiently frigid […]
Over the years, we have established that Grumpy knows all — not just about the present, but the future too. Powered by several glasses of high-octane eggnog, he turns his Jaundiced Eye of Prognostication towards 2015 and issues five shocking predictions for the coming year.