The Grumpy Gardener

Get your garden growing with the humor and wisdom of editor Steve Bender. Ask a Question


How to Care for Holiday Plants

Grumpy hopes this is the most wonderful Christmas of all! So instead of loading you down with expensive jewelry, silverware, sports cars, and Napoleon brandy, your family gives you what you really wanted — blooming holiday plants. Here’s what you need to know to avoid killing these cherished gifts by the weekend.

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OMG! Look What They Did to This Amaryllis!

Do you think that plants have feelings? Then you might not want to read any further. On the other hand, if watching a bulb bloom its heart out for you shortly before it breathes its last makes your day, do I have the perfect holiday present for you! An amaryllis bulb coated in colorful wax!

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Christmas Gifts From My Heart

With only two weeks to go until your favorite day to shower Grumpy with gifts, Grumpy has more outstanding garden gift ideas for you to bestow on your loved ones. Get your credit card ready!

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Bye Bye, Bubba — An Era Ends

Grumpy was going to offer more Christmas present ideas today, but he’s not feeling very festive. He just learned that his friend and colleague, Gene “Bubba” Bussell, will be leaving Southern Living at the end of this month.

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All She Wants For Christmas Is Blue Orchids and Poo!

Christmas brings joy, but it can also bring pain–especially if someone in your family is so insensitive and self-absorbed they never give you what you want. Show those people the error of their ways with these excellent garden gifts chosen by Grumpy.

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More Christmas Gifts From Grumpy

Black Friday may be over, but thanks to Grumpy, Christmas shopping is naught but blue skies ahead! Here are three more gifts every gardener will want, because I’ve talked to them all and they said so.

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Grumpy’s Christmas Gifts For You

Oh! No! No! The holiday season is upon us again, which means many of you are looking down the barrel of disappointing even more people with your gifts this year. Be not afraid. Grumpy has perused and evaluated thousands of gifts that will delight even the most discerning gardener. Every post from now until Christmas will feature unique items sure […]

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You Make Grumpy Grateful

Grumpy has a lot to be grateful for. Nobel Prize. Pulitzer Prize. Congressional Medal of Freedom. Bringing peace to war-torn Aruba. Never once been mistaken for Bruce Jenner. Yet he is thankful for one thing above all else.

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Grow Your Own Turkey This Year

“Eat fresh, eat local” may be the mantra of foodies today, but not when it come to the year’s greatest feast, Thanksgiving. Too many people still rely on frozen, store-bought turkeys, denying themselves the pleasure of a succulent, richly flavored, home-grown bird. Growing a turkey is easy, fun, and cheap! Here’s how to do it. Step 1 — Select Good […]

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Last Call For Spring Bulbs!

The best time for most Southerners to plant spring bulbs is around Thanksgiving. But if you haven’t bought your bulbs already, you’d better act fast! Most bulbs will be gone by early December. The good news is, right now many bulb suppliers are discounting their bulbs, so you can get a deal.

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